Having boundaries and expectation is one thing, but going passive aggressive is another. A Redditor asked, Am I wrong for using my dishwasher as a storage space and still expecting my partner to do dishes? 

We want to know from you. Here is the entire story:



The Original Poster (OP) is a little neurotic, and don’t think dishwashers are good for dishes.

OP says “I also don’t trust my partner to not put any of my nice kitchen stuff in the dishwasher that should be hand washed while I’m gone.

OP’s partner told her before they moved in togther that in the house he wants to be able to use the dishwasher otherwise he won’t do any dishes.


What Happened Next?

They move in together and OP end up using the dishwasher to store shaker bottles and plastic items, and for the past several months have been washing all of his dishes by hand.

OP says “I’m so tired of it though and believe he can wash a few dishes every now and then to help me out. He points out that he already told me if he can’t use the dishwasher he’s not doing any dishes, but washing a dish by hand doesn’t take long. I’m getting frustrated and I’m not sure who is in the wrong.”

OP asks if she is wrong,


What Did Others Have To Say?

“You are wrong. The dishwasher is for washing dishes, not for storage. It’s more than a ‘little neurotic’ to object to that, it’s completely absurd. I would take the exact same position as him: if you’re going to put up arbitrary barriers to getting the dishes done, you get to do all the dishes.” said one.

Another added, “You are wrong because we all know the real reason you are using the dishwasher as storage space and it’s not for lack of storage, it’s to passive aggressively prevent its use.

That’s not an open line of communication. That’s driving a literal wedge into something your partner wants to do. A lasting relationship is a series of compromises and you’re giving none of that energy

What do you think? Is it appropriate for OP to use dishwasher as storage? Is is right for OP’s partner to refuse washing dishes by hand? What do you think?

This originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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