It’s okay to say no to something, even if you don’t have a good reason. Everyone has the right to refuse requests, but if the request is important to the other person, it’s best to say no as soon as possible.
Waiting until the last minute to turn someone down can be more difficult than it seems.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for saying no to being my future sister-in-law’s bridesmaid?”. We want to know from you.
BACKSTORY
OP’s brother, Tom, is getting married to Kim next spring. OP has always liked Kim for her brother. She is kind, supportive, appreciative, and loving.
But OP has always found her a little excitable for her taste, although that doesn’t bother her much!
BRIDESMAID PROPOSAL
OP returned from a trip and received a package from Kim containing a bridesmaid proposal. It had a handwritten letter from Kim asking OP to be her bridesmaid.
MEDICAL EMERGENCY
OP decided to call Kim to say that she wouldn’t be able to be her bridesmaid, but that totally went out of her mind because of a medical emergency.
OP’s husband was admitted to a hospital, leaving OP completely blank for a few days.
ENGAGEMENT PARTY
After a few days, OP’s husband was discharged from the hospital and right on the next day they were on their way to OP’s brother’s engagement party.
It was right at this time when OP remembered that she totally forgot to say no to Kim and the day had already arrived.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
When OP arrived at the venue, Kim told her that she was extremely excited to introduce her to the other bridesmaids.
After meeting the other bridesmaids and hearing about the further planned activities, OP became sure that she didn’t want to do this.
THE CONFRONTATION
OP pulled Kim aside and told her that she didn’t want to be her bridesmaid.
Kim snapped and asked the reason behind it, to which OP replied that she didn’t have to answer and that she didn’t like the fact that Kim didn’t respect her choice.
THE ARGUMENT
OP told Kim that she didn’t have the time to take part in all the activities and help her in planning in any way.
Kim snapped and told her that she could definitely make time if she wanted to and referred to a past incident where OP planned and hosted her friend’s wedding.
To this, OP replied “You and I are not friends, Kim ”.
THE MESS
The argument got heated up, and drew Kim’s friends’ attention. They all started swearing at OP, and it went on for hours.
THE AFTER EFFECT
After all this happened, OP’s brother still wanted her to change her mind, because it would make his life easier.
But he also informed OP that he would not hold it against her if she decided not to do this.
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“It probably should’ve been a priority to tell her as soon as you received the proposal, and saying “You’re not my friend” was pretty rude if she hasn’t done anything wrong to you.
“She also shouldn’t have snapped at you and should’ve accepted your choice like an adult when you told her, though.”, said one user.”
You Are A Jerk
“She says she planned to call her a couple of days after she received it. What’s the point of that? There was no reason to wait until the emergency did happen, which is totally understandable. The point still stands. She should’ve called when she opened it and knew what it was instead of purposefully waiting.”, said another user.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.