A woman posted on an online forum, seeking advice on how to deal with her husband’s bullying during a dinner out. She described his comments as hurtful and humiliating, leaving her feeling self-conscious.
Here is the story:
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) went out for dinner with her husband one evening, and during the meal, he showed her a picture he had taken of their son on Saturday. OP thought their son looked great in the photo and suggested making it his lock screen.
What Happened Next
OP’s husband had a habit of keeping both his lock screen and home screen black. However, OP’s phone featured a picture of the three on her lock screen.
When OP made a lighthearted joke about her husband’s black screens, suggesting that he doesn’t want “other women” to see, he gave her a look as if she had said something foolish.
What Did He Say
Responding to OP’s joke about his lock screen, her husband replied, “You know you’re lucky you have that beautiful face.” OP could sense from his tone of voice that she had made a mistake and that he didn’t appreciate her comment.
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What Happened Next?
OP touched her husband’s arm, apologizing for her previous comment and acknowledging that it may have been inappropriate. In response, her husband leaned in as if he would kiss her neck but instead whispered in her ear, cautioning her not to disrespect him again, especially not in front of their son.
What Did OP Do
OP tried to act normal even though she was nervous. But throughout dinner, OP’s husband kept making comments that hurt her. He told her to eat her food because her lips looked too big when she lost too much weight on her face.
What Did He Tell OP
He told OP that her hairstyle didn’t suit her and she needed to leave her hair down. He told OP to lower her head because OP doesn’t realize she eyes at people. OP’s lips, eyes, and hair were things he always said he loved about her. OP felt very self-conscious.
What Did OP’s Son Do?
OP could tell that her son sensed the tension and was uncomfortable. He tried to make OP feel better. When they walked to the car, OP’s son whispered to OP that his dad was mean to her. It was not suitable for her son to feel that way.
What Happened Next
Later that night, the negative tone continued when OP and her husband went to bed. Despite feeling grateful for her life, OP couldn’t help but feel bullied by her husband’s behavior towards her. She tried to hold back her tears but had been upset since dinner. Her husband tends to pick at her sometimes, and OP found herself wishing she had never made the comment that triggered his behavior.
OP seeks advice on handling the situation and improving her relationship with her partner.
He Is Controlling You
“You’re not ‘too sensitive’ this is actually incredibly concerning. It’s making me anxious reading through it. Because the level of control that he is being under sounds like a strong precursor to a case of domestic violence. He is controlling every aspect of your life, including your looks and diet. Where you look, and making you look down, cutting you off and separating you from others. Putting you down constantly so that you think so little of yourself, your only confidence and positive feelings will come from whatever scraps he throws your way.”
This is Mental Abuse
“This is mental abuse. I went thru something similar w my current husband. It’s possible to get past it but u two need heavy communication and mutual understanding, it might take you leaving for him to snap out of whatever stupidity he’s got going on in his head.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.