In a challenging custody battle, a mother has lost custody of her child. The father’s legal efforts have led to this significant outcome in their family’s life.
A netizen asked, Am I a jerk for moving for my husband’s job because my kids now hate me? We need you to look into this matter.
OP and her ex split 5 years ago now. They had a daughter who is 16, a son who is 13, and a daughter who is 5. He’s always been a good dad, and they split 50/50 custody, essentially the kids are one week in OP’s house/one week in her ex’s house.
What Happened After OP’s Divorce?
After OP’s divorce, she reconnected with a high school boyfriend and fell head over heels in love again. He’s in the military but hasn’t had to move in years. They married 2 years ago.
A Year Ago
A year ago, OP’s current partner got orders to move to Texas from where they all were in California. OP’s older two kids were not happy at all and didn’t want to move, while the baby didn’t really express a preference.
What Did OP Do
OP approached her ex and told him the situation. She said she knows the situation is awful, but they’d foot the bill to him for every trip to him on holidays, breaks, summers, etc.
He blew his top and said absolutely not, and that OP wouldn’t “take his kids away” and said he’d see her in court.
The Court’s Decision
The judge ended up ruling in his favor, and OP was awarded summers and every other holiday.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I was absolutely devastated. I moved, and I’ve barely seen the kids since. They came at Christmas for a week, and it was tense the whole time.
The older kids, especially my daughter, are short with me on FaceTime, while the baby gets distracted and can’t chat much. My daughter has said I chose a man over her, and that she wants nothing to do with me, while my son won’t talk about it but I can tell he’s angry.”
What Did The Husband Say
OP had asked her ex to talk to them about it, and he basically said she chose to leave. It’s OP’s fault, and he’s not getting involved in “their issues”.
“So, Am I a jerk?” Asks OP.
You Made A Selfish Move
“Kinda selfish… And yes, you’re the jerk…
You didn’t ask your kids’ opinion about moving.. they’re old enough to have that conversation… You instead decided on your own for what you wanted, and when told no, fought to have your way in court and lost, I’d say rightfully. You didn’t ask your ex’s opinion; they’re his kids too… you just announced something based on what you and your husband wanted.
The kids are rightfully mad because they feel their mother abandoned them without any consideration. Yeah, you’re the jerk in this.”
You Chose Yourself Over Your Kids
“You’re the jerk. You’re a parent, and you failed to consider what your relationship choices would do to your family. Your ex didn’t deserve to lose custody because of your choices.
Of course, marrying a guy in the military comes with a high chance of relocation. What the hell did you think would happen? You chose yourself over your kids.”
Actions Have Consequences. So, Deal With It!
“I don’t know why in the world you thought you could or should just take your kids away from their father because you decided to marry a military guy. Actions have consequences. Your daughter is right, you made a choice and it wasn’t your children. You should really be ashamed of yourself.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.