Imagine you just finished planning up a gift for a dear one; you make all the arrangements, get everything together, and UH-OH! Someone else just stole your idea and called your gift “theirs”! How’d you feel?
A user recently asked, Am I a jerk for getting angry because my sister and brother-in-law robbed me of treating my mom for Mother’s Day? We want you to decide.
The Original Poster (OP) had been planning for Mother’s Day, and her mama had everything. She repeatedly insists OP not buy her a gift.
OP finally got her to agree to let her take her for a meal (restaurant of Mom’s choice) on Saturday before Mother’s Day. She said she wants OP to invite her sister and BIL. 3 weeks prior.
OP texts and informs her sister she’s taking Mom out for Mother’s Day, and she is welcome to join if she wants.
What Happened In The Restaurant?
OP further narrates the incident, saying, “We enjoy our meal, and the bill comes. BIL picks it up, and I say “This meal’s on me. It’s my Mother’s Day gift since Mom refused gifts.” Sister and BIL refuse and say, “We already agreed (the two of them) we want to pick up the bill.” I inform again…that the meal IS my Mother’s Day gift, and I want to pay. He shoves his card at the waitress, and she walks away.”
What Did The Sister Do
Her sis asks OP, “Are you mad?”
OP responds, “Of course I am. I told you this was my Mother’s Day gift, and I invited you.” Sister and BIL are in disbelief that OP’s upset, and mom says, “Just say thank you” – her main goal is always to keep the peace.
What Did OP Do
Next, OP also texted Sis/BIL later and told them it was “clear this was her gift to mom and they robbed her of the chance to treat her to a nice meal. I invited you out of courtesy.” No response.
OP wants to know if she’s a jerk for creating a scene for her Mother’s Day gift?
So, They Literally Stole Your Gift?!
“Not the jerk! They didn’t get her anything and stole your gift.” Said one.
“This, as well as the effort she put into organizing it. Shameful of them.” Another added.
From Now, Don’t Tell What You Plan
“This is so infuriating. My mom used to do this all the time. She’d ask what I’m getting for my brother, sister, my kids, my dad, etc, for some holiday, then go out and buy it herself to give them early. Then act all clueless with, “but you hadn’t bought it yet.” Stop telling sister what you plan to do.”
All She Wanted Was Some Family Time
“Listen to what your Mom is saying to you. She doesn’t care about gifts!
Your sister and BIL are a jerk for taking over your gift, but you’re also the jerk for arguing about it in front of your Mom. All your Mom wanted was a nice day with her family, and she ended up squabbling on her day.”
Take Her Out Some Other Day Again
“Not a jerk for being upset with them. They were insensitive. But speaking as a mom, I think Mother’s Day is special not because of the day itself but because it’s one of the only times we hear how much we mean to our kids. Taking your mom out for a meal would be special to her any day of the year. It doesn’t need to be limited to just one day. But maybe for next Mother’s Day, don’t invite anyone else.”
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