Drawing boundaries with family members, especially when it comes to money, can be a challenge.
A user approached a popular forum and asked, “Am I abusing my younger brother financially?”. We want to know what you think about this. Here is the entire story:
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is a 26-year-old female who resides with her 28-year-old husband, their 1-year-old infant daughter, and her 18-year-old younger brother in his final year of high school. Additionally, OP is currently 30 weeks pregnant.
OP’s Parent Went Through A Divorce
OP’s parents went through a divorce, and both moved away from the school district. After completing high school, the younger brother received grants and intends to pursue his education at a nearby community college.
Younger Brother Holds a Job
OP, her husband, and her younger brother all hold jobs, with OP working part-time and the husband and brother working full-time.
The younger brother contributed $600 per month towards all bills, while the rest of the expenses were covered by OP and her spouse. In addition to the $600 monthly, the brother contributed towards groceries and assisted with additional expenses if they fell short.
He Saved A Portion Of His Income To Cover College
He used to save a portion of his income from each paycheck to cover any college expenses not covered by his grant. Although he had reportedly used (his friends told OP) some of those savings to assist his sister and her husband in the past, he did not request repayment from them. OP and her husband were saving for their second child and did not dip into for anything else.
They All Receive Bi-Weekly Checks
The younger brother, OP, and her husband all receive bi-weekly pay, with the brother’s income coming in one week and the spouse’s and OP’s paycheck coming in the next. As the brother did not have his car, he used OP’s car and was required to contribute to gas expenses. He contributed approximately $300 towards groceries, $600 towards bills, and at least $200 towards gas per month, which amounts to a monthly contribution of $1,100.
He Assisted
Additionally, he assisted with purchasing items for the baby if OP ran out during the week that neither she nor her husband received payment.
OP’s parents and her brother’s friends have accused her of being financially abusive towards her younger brother due to this arrangement, even though he has not raised any concerns himself.
What Happened Next?
OP says that upon writing this post, she understood why her parents and the brother’s friends believed they were financially abusive towards the younger brother.
Despite his efforts to save for college, he must contribute $1,100 towards monthly living expenses, which could be considered a substantial amount. While they occasionally lend him money when he requests it, OP feels that this may be why he has yet to speak up about his concerns.
He Is Expecting Grants
Furthermore, according to OP, her brother may be hoping that the grants he receives will cover all of his college expenses, which may alleviate some of his financial burdens.
What Is OP Thinking?
OP is considering contributing a portion of their baby fund toward the younger brother’s college fund to assist him. With around $6,000 saved, she is contemplating adding a month’s living expenses to his savings or informing him that they will cover his costs for the first month of college.
OP Is Reflecting
OP is reflecting on accusations of financial abuse from her parents and brother’s friends regarding the living arrangements with her younger brother. She is considering contributing to his college fund to rectify the situation and is open to feedback and suggestions from the audience.
Users gave a tonne of it, but what happened next will shock you.
What Happened Next?
OP and her husband spoke to the brother. They decided that the brother would now pay $500 a month alongside gas and phone bill. If he decides to eat out, he will pay for it. He also have to pay for his snacks and drinks.
OP clarifies “When I say snacks and drinks I mean junk foods and soda, my husband and I don’t really go for junk food and soda but we constantly have juice, tea, and cool aid around for him to drink if he doesn’t want water so if he wants soda and junk foods he needs to start shopping for himself.”
OP Caved In For The Cat As An Apology
Besides this, he decided to get a cat (for which he is responsible financially). OP says “I feel like I caved and let him have the cat as an apology” In short, he got a cat, he pays 500$ plus gas and phone bill.
She wants to know if she is doing anything wrong.
Source: Reddit.
Where Are The Parents
“I don’t understand why her parents aren’t providing support to their daughter for their son. Just because they moved out of state doesn’t absolve them of financial responsibility,
OP’s brother might be 18 but he’s still in high school. Their parents should be covering the increased expenses for hydro and food at least, plus his clothing and educational needs. Maybe not through college but at minimum while he’s still in high school. That’s the part that sticks out to me.”
Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name; School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Is This Ok?
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for correcting my daughter’s teacher about her name? Read on to know what happened and drop your comments.
Husband Refuses to Help Wife’s Friend After Her Friend Suggests He Is Hitting On Her. Wife Calls It “Silly Misunderstanding”. Is It Though?
It’s frustrating to be kind to someone who is important to your partner, only to be accused of something you didn’t do and have your and have your feelings dismissed. Read more.
Couple Kicks Out Groom’s Family For “Violating Rules” At The Wedding. Explains, “They All Wore White and Brought Children To A Child-Free Wedding”. Family Calls It “Traditions”
Mutual respect is very important, especially when you are moving into a new family. What do you think about this?
Boyfriend’s Asks Girlfriend To “Let It Go” After Friends Accused Her Of Cheating On Him, Yells At Her Until Proven Innocent. Should She Let Her Go?
Love is the foundation of a healthy relationship, but trust and respect are essential pillars that support it. Read more, and decide.
Teacher Invites All The 1st Graders to a Barbecue Except One. Says, “He Didn’t Earn ALL Good Noodle Stickers”. Thinks It’s FAIR. Is It?
A user asked, Am I wrong for not inviting all students to a barbecue? You decide.
This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.