A mother’s love for her children is boundless. She is willing to do anything for them, even if it means sacrificing her own happiness. But what happens when a mother’s love goes too far?
A user asked the forum, am I a jerk for selling my late husband’s classic car instead of gifting it to my Son?
BACK STORY
The original poster’s (OP) late husband (who passed away in 2013) was a classic car guy. He has bought and sold them as a hobby since he was a teenager.
WHAT HAPPENED ONCE HE PASSED AWAY
After he passed away, OP kept his favorite car.
OP’s brother-in-law would come by and maintain it for them and sometimes take it to shows.
SON DRIVES THE CAR
OP’s son would often go with his uncle to shows, and when OP’s son got his license, he was allowed to occasionally drive the car when either OP, his stepdad (OP remarried in 2017), or his uncle was able to go with him.
TOUGH TIMES
OP says, unfortunately, the past two years were tough for them. OP’s husband got sick and was in the ICU. He didn’t come back home. She says that with the medical bills and her husband being out of work – they have gotten into a substantial amount of debt.
DECIDED TO SELL THE CAR
OP called her BIL and gave him the first option to buy the car. He declined to purchase but said he would put feelers out and see if he could find someone. And he did it.
She then told her son they would have to sell the car, and her son did not take it very well.
HE THREW A TANTRUM
He threw a temper tantrum bigger than he had as a toddler. He says OP has no right to use his “inheritance” to pay her husband’s medical bills.
WHAT DID OP SAY
OP explained to him that he doesn’t get any inheritance until she dies anyways and also said that she wasn’t going to let their family suffer over a car. She said that selling the car would allow them to keep the family home and help him pay for his education.
OP APOLOGIZED
OP apologized and told him that if there were any other options, she would have taken them, but this is just how life works out sometimes, as bad as that may be.
He also says that OP’s husband and stepson are not his family and has since stopped talking to his step-father and step-brother completely and she feels that she was lucky if she got more than a word out of him. She asks if she is a jerk for selling the car to pay off medical debts and rebuild their savings.
YOU MUST CONSIDER YOUR SON’S FEELING
“I know how hard medical debt can hit a family; it must have been terrible. But from your son’s perspective, you got rid of his father’s prized possession to pay off your new husband’s debt. I don’t know how you thought your relationship with him (or his relationship with his stepdad) would not suffer.
I think you are a jerk for downplaying your son’s feelings as a “temper tantrum.” You took away a link he had to his dead father; of course, he’d be upset.
You phrased having to sell the car as the right move for the “family.” But your husband and stepson are your families, and you took something precious from your son’s family to sustain your new family. As a 3rd party adult, I understand why you made this decision. But if I was your son, it would take a lot of work to repair this rift.”
THAT IS WRONG
“She emptied her son’s college fund? I didn’t see that, but that is so wrong.”
“I mean, that’s the only thing left of his dad around, and you’re selling it for your new husband. Maybe your son feels angry because he feels you’re just erasing what’s left of his dad. I think you might be a jerk. OP.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.