An internet user recently asked, Am I a jerk for telling my son that if he can’t help me then he can pay for his own stuff? Read on to know what happened and tell us what you think in the comments section!
OP is a mother of 5 and a half (46f) and is five months pregnant. She has twin girls, who she’ll call Lisa and Sophia (10f), her youngest boy, Joshua (17m), her baby girl, Emily who is one, and her oldest son, Danny (21m).
The Trip To Hawaii
They were on a trip to Hawaii a few weeks ago. Her husband didn’t come because of an unexpected work emergency, but he told them to have fun.
OP’s Twin Cried A Lot
OP’s twins cried, A LOT, so OP and her son Joshua comforted them, but Danny stood doing nothing. They had so many fun things planned to do with their father, but since he couldn’t come, they didn’t end up doing much, but whatever they did, (except eat) Danny was absent for it.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “Like for example, going to the beach, banana boats, Luaus, and watching his younger sisters when they just wanted to go to the pool, he’d stay in his room on his phone, chatting with his friends.”
What Happened The Next Week?
The next week of vacation, OP was stressed with Danny. She hated having to put most of the work on Josh because he wanted to have fun too, and her daughters helped with the baby.
OP Called Him Down
OP called him down to help, but he said he “wanted to relax and chill.” when they came there to relax, chill, and have FUN.
However, they weren’t having lots of fun with less help, a crying baby, two ten-year-olds who wanted to go to the pool but had to do what OP had the capability of doing while carrying, and her other son who wanted to get away from his sisters for at least an hour. It was a mess.
What Did OP Do Next?
OP shouted at him “If you can’t step up and help the woman who gave birth to you, lets you live in her house rent-free, while giving you a job, whose money you just spend on silly games instead of getting an apartment, then you can get out of my house and pay for your own stuff.”
He looked shocked and left, and just about an hour after, OP’s SIL, and her in-laws called, asking her why she’d shout at her son when he did nothing.
The Final Fuss
OP told them, “Yeah he’s been doing nothing except eating and chatting in his room with his silly friends instead of helping his mother and siblings”, and hung up.
When they got back from their vacation, OP’s husband yelled at their son for not helping and sent him up to his room. “Lots of our family are on my side, but my in-laws think I was wrong, so Am I a jerk?” Asks OP.
What A Nightmare
“You’re the jerk. What a nightmare. He’s not your husband or the father of your kids. Stop popping them out if you can’t handle so many. And I say this as a parent.”
These Are YOUR Kids
“You’re the jerk. These are YOUR kids. Stop parentifying your other children to do childcare for you. If you can’t handle your own children, you shouldn’t have had so many. If you couldn’t handle them alone on vacation, you shouldn’t have taken the vacation.
It is not your oldest child’s job to be your slave. If you want them to pay rent or something, that’s reasonable, but they didn’t keep popping out more and more kids — you did. Those babies are no one’s responsibility but yours and your husband’s.”
Hire A Nanny
“Sounds like he stays in his room to avoid being forced to take care of his siblings…which is not his responsibility. They are your and your husband’s children. If you need that much help, hire a nanny. Your kids deserve their own life outside of taking care of your other kids.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.