Have you ever felt uncomfortable or pressured to refuse money that you have earned? What are some things that people can do to manage this situation?

An internet user recently shared an incident, saying, “Got subtly shamed for leaving for more money”. We need your take on the matter.

Backstory

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The Original Poster (OP) was offered a 5% raise back in January which brought up his annual salary from 32k EUR to 33.5k EUR (OP is in Ireland and inflation is crazy there to the point where he had to start dipping into his savings to make ends meet at times).

What Happened At The Performance Review

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At a performance review in June, OP tried opening up the conversation for an adjustment for inflation and was brushed off with a, “We only do salary reviews once a year unless an employee is performing exceptionally well.”

That killed off any motivation OP would have had left and he started doing the bare minimum while looking for other opportunities.

The Other Job Offer

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OP found another job offer that would pay him 38.5k and so he handed in his notice. OP’s manager’s exact words were, “I’m not personally motivated by money,” when OP said he was struggling with the current salary.

OP’s director was curious to find out what the other place was offering him, and when OP told him, he said, “5k? Not a massive difference then.” No counteroffer either, mind you.

What Does OP Think?

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OP thinks, either they’re both so far removed from the realities of what the junior staff have to live on, or they pulled the corporate version of negging on OP.

“Couldn’t be more relieved to be leaving.”, says OP.

Now OP wants to know if what he did is wrong.

5K Can Make A Big Leap

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“They are not personally motivated by money MY FOOT!

They are making a ton more than you, that’s why they are not motivated by money.

5K can make a big leap for someone who is struggling. I’m from Spain and I’ve been to Ireland and prices there are crazy.”

Congrats, You Did The Right Thing!

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“Congrats, I did the exact same thing in Ireland a month ago, 37.5K to 52K with health insurance fully paid and way better pension. A bit of confusion from upper management (who can’t remember what struggling feels like) to outright congratulations from my direct manager.”

Welcome To Corporate Gaslighting

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“Welcome to corporate gaslighting to try and mind trick you into staying. So they don’t have to spend the money to replace you and the higher salary people will demand. I would be homeless on your salary.”

It’s A Job, Not A Hobby

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“It’s a job, not a hobby. Money is SUPPOSED to be the PRIMARY motivation. You made a good decision.

Also, it’s not ‘5k, not a massive difference’. It’s 15% more which is a substantial difference.”

You Should Have Asked Him To Swap Salaries

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“If he is not motivated by money he certainly doesn’t mind swapping salaries with you.

You should have asked him.”

15% Is Definitely A Respectable Increase

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“15% is definitely a respectable increase…When your director said ‘5K? Not a massive difference’, You should have responded ‘Obviously not to someone at your pay level’ to emphasize how much more he is likely paid…”

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