Some people find satisfaction in revenge that is so subtle and well-executed that it is undetectable.
An internet user recently shared an incident, saying, “I’ve been secretly fattening up two co-workers for talking nonsense about a friend of mine”. Here’s the full story for your context.
The Original Poster (OP) has known his friend since high school (let’s call him Bob). They’re both in their 40’s now and ended up briefly working for the same company, but in different locations.
Sometimes employees travel to different locations for training and whatnot and a little over a year ago, OP’s buddy ended up being with OP for a half day of training.
What Does OP Say
“My friend has a lisp, he’s self-conscious about it, was teased in high school and it’s affected his self-image and self-esteem. The guy is all heart and really is a cool guy if you get to know him. He’s a bit overweight, and pretty self-conscious about that too…”, says OP.
What Happened The Next Day
OP wasn’t there the day Bob came to train, but the next day OP went to the front office with 2 of the secretaries to say good morning like always (they had a good rapport) and they were talking with a fake lisp and absolutely cracking up like it was the funniest thing in the world.
What Did OP Do Next?
OP knew his friend was there, but asked them anyway what the lisp was about. The two jerks didn’t know Bob was one of OP’s oldest friends. They could barely keep a straight face about how “The guy from the other place sounded like a loser who would probably never find a woman…he looked greasy… he was fat…can you imagine what he would sound like in bed…lisping and sweating… ha ha ha…”, stuff like that.
OP Kept a Poker Face
“I was annoyed but kept a good poker face. Kind of chuckled and said something to the effect of ‘You guys are terrible…’ They seemed proud of themselves.”, says OP.
OP’s Subtle But Effective Revenge
These two jerks have a sweet tooth. For the last year, OP has relentlessly been bringing them donuts, chocolates, and Starbucks drinks with so much sugar they could give an elephant diabetes!
Also, he used to bring ice creams, ice cream cakes, candies, and anything that is calorie-dense and sweet. It’s not hard to make them eat. OP just says stupid cliche “funny” stuff like “diet starts tomorrow!” or “If you take small bites, there are fewer calories!” They laugh and eat.
No joke, they have gained about 40 lbs a piece and now complain about things like finding clothes and being tired all the time.
“One of them was spilling her guts to the other about her husband not wanting to sleep with her anymore. Bob never found out about what they said, he left the company for greener pastures shortly after that incident. He’s doing good. I have no intention of stopping.”, says OP.
Now OP wants to know if he is a jerk for doing this for his friend.
Protect Bob At All Costs
“Protect Bob at all costs. OP I like your self-control and diabolical nature. Truly what this subject is all about. Pettiness for the greater good.”
Keep Giving Them Updates About Bob
“Anytime you hear something great about how Bob is doing, make sure they hear about it. Bob has this great new job. Bob has a beautiful girlfriend. Bob lost a ton of weight and looks fabulous.”
Love The Passive-Aggressive Revenge
“Love the passive-aggressive revenge. If you ever leave the company, just leave a goodbye card with a picture of you and your friend inside. That’s all.”
Like This Version Of Killing With Kindness
“I like this version of killing with kindness. Why can’t you be the Sweet Tooth Robin Hood? They both have the power to stop themselves but won’t. Wow!
I hope this makes ‘Best Of’.”
You Are A Great Friend
“You are a great friend! Sounds like Bob is a great guy, and they are two nasty miserable women. I will never understand making fun of someone. It is so nasty and petty. Looks like they got what they deserved.
The funny thing is, they are doing it to themselves. It is not like you are forcing them to eat it. Well played!”
Well Played My Friend
“See no problem with what you did. You spent your own money, bought food, and offered it to them. They chose to eat it.
Just as long as you don’t tamper with peoples’ food they bring in. Or food you give them. You’re alright in my eyes. Well played my friend.”
Love The Way Your Mind Works!
“This is brilliant, simply brilliant!! Even if they wanted to stop eating your food and start dieting, I can see you standing there with a new box of Krispy Kremes tempting them to partake in their sugary sweetness once again. I love the way your mind works!”
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