Is a friend who won’t help you in your time of need truly a friend? A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for declining to drop my friend off at home?”. Read the complete story to know who is wrong here.
BACK STORY
The Original Poster(OP) and his friend usually go rock climbing with some friends a couple of times a week. They usually meet at the location at 8 pm and climb until it closes at 10.
DINNER AT HIS PARTNER’S PARENT’S HOUSE
On that day, OP’s friend had dinner at his partner’s parent’s house. OP says that his friend and partner went together in one car out of convenience.
TWO OPTIONS
After dinner, OP’s friend had two options, he would go home first to get his car and then drive back to climbing. This would mean he would be 40 minutes late.
The second one is to be dropped off at climbing as OP’s friend’s partner would drive past the place on her way back home. OP says that his friend chose a second option.
OP REFUSED
As a result, OP’s friend asked him to drop him off at home, which would be a 20-minute detour. OP declined as he felt he was inconveniencing him for the sake of his convenience.
He wants to know if he is wrong.
YOU ARE A POOR FRIEND
“Now, while you didn’t owe him anything, your very good friend isn’t/wasn’t worth a 20 min drive?
He clearly has his own car, as you state, so it’s not like this was a regular occurrence. If you can’t do a friend a favor, what’s the point of having friends? Usually, you can count on your friends for more than a lift home. I hope you never need a favor from anyone because you are definitely in the wrong. What a poor friend you are.
If I was in your ‘very good friends’ shoes, I’d be questioning just how good of friends we really were. You left the guy stranded. At worst, you could’ve asked for a couple of bucks for gas. It’s obvious he didn’t make a habit of asking you to go out of your way for him.”
MISSED A SOLO DRIVE WITH A FRIEND
“Yes, he could and should have asked you beforehand, but coming on a 20-minute detour is like 10 minutes more with your very good friend and 10 minutes solo drive.
What did he end up doing?”
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FRIEND
“Your idea of a ‘very good friend’ is a bit off. You’re a horrible friend. A 20-minute drive so that your ‘very good friend’ doesn’t miss out on 1/3 of the time you climb?
And that was too much to ask of you? He needs to find a better friend.”
NO VALID REASON FOR NOT HELPING HIM
“It doesn’t sound like there was any reason why you couldn’t help him. Not sure how you can define yourself as a good friend.”
YOU ARE A JERK
“Is he really a good friend? I dropped everything and drove three hours to pick up a friend after a five-minute call because she needed me.
Twenty minutes just doesn’t seem like a problem for a friend that you wanna spend time with.
I could understand if you had something more pressing to do or if you were low on gas, but I’m assuming you or your friend had the money to cover that if you guys were paying to go rock climbing.”
YOU ARE SELFISH
“He may be a very good friend to you, but you’re clearly not a good friend to him. You’re selfish.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.