A wife is demanding that her husband stop dressing up in women’s clothing, saying that it is making her look bad. The husband, who has been dressing up in women’s clothing for years, says that he is not doing anything wrong and that his wife should be more accepting of his hobby.
A user asked, Am I wrong for always being overdressed and making my wife look ‘bad’ because she doesn’t dress up?
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) works in a corporate setting which requires him to always be in formal apparel.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I have gotten used to wearing formal clothing to the point that I pretty much prefer to wear it most of the time. Whether I’m picking my kids up from practice, visiting family, or go shopping, except for when I go to the gym, I wear tailored pants with a button-up of some sort. I know that I’m overdressed most of the time, but I enjoy being dressed well, and it has become my style.”
OP’s Wife Prefers Comfortable Clothing
OP’s wife, on the other hand, is completely opposite of OP. She likes wearing casual and comfortable clothes like sweatpants and hoodies, which is fine.
But OP’s wife says that when we go out together that OP makes her look like a slob because he is overdressed, making her look like she doesn’t take care of herself.
They Visited Their in-law’s Place
They visited OP’s in-laws a couple of days ago. He was wearing his usual style of clothing while his wife was wearing a hoody and some sweatpants.
OP’s Wife Mother Joked
OP’s wife’s mother joked about him looking nice in his clothes and then jokingly said that people would never assume that OP’s wife and OP are married and that OP should encourage her not to dress like a slob.
OP just laughed it off and told her that his wife likes being comfortable.
What Did OP’s Wife Say?
This didn’t go over well with OP’s wife and told OP when we got back home that OP should stop dressing like a pretentious person and wear ‘normal clothing’ like everybody else and stop making her look bad.
OP says, “I told that nobody cares what she wears and that I don’t tell her how to dress so she can’t tell me how to dress. This turned into a petty argument that shouldn’t have even taken place at all.”
Your Wife Knows It
“OK, pants with a button-down shirt is not “formal wear” it’s closer to “Casual Friday.”
You are not a jerk, and if your wife thinks she looks like a slob in comparison, then that says something. It’s not as if you’re in a top hat and tails.”
It is Misplaced Frustration
“NAH I would guess a lot of your wife’s feelings are coming from the criticism from her mom based off the interaction described in this post, and that saying she likes being comfortable probably didn’t help, but that doesn’t make you an AH for wanting to dress nicely.
A better way of responding in the future might be, “I dress this way because I’m used to it for work, and [wife] looks great in everything she wears. Nobody else’s opinions matter.”
Do What You Like
“Not wrong – dress however you want to dress, same for her. Weird that this is at all a debate. The stakes are impossibly low.”
Your Mother In Law Is A Jerk
“You’re not wrong but your MIL kinda is.
Your wife’s frustration is directed at the wrong person in this particular instance.
I don’t understand how sweatpants & hoodies = slob… unless its full of holes and you have food stains all over?
She can’t reasonably expect you to dress down if she isn’t going to dress up. Everyone should dress however they feel comfortable & confident.”
Your Wife Isn’t Making an Effort
“Not wrong – Your wife has a problem because she knows she’s not making an effort. She wants to pull your style down to fit hers. Why can she not wear something nice now and again? Especially going out.
She should make more of an effort. Joggers (what we call sweatpants) are awful, and most women I know would never wear them at home, never mind out and about!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.