A Redditor took to the forum and asked, “Am I wrong? I didn’t attend my son’s wedding but spent the evening with his ex-wife instead.”
We think he is right, but we want to know what you think and what you would do. Here is the full story:
Backstory:
After graduating high school, the Original Poster’s (OP) son moved three states away for college. At 19, OP’s son married a girl he met.
OP tried convincing him to wait because OP felt he was too immature. OP’s son and wife dropped out and returned to OP’s hometown. At 20, they had their first child, a beautiful little girl. Sixteen months later, OP’s daughter-in-law (DIL) gave birth to their second child, a little boy.
What Did OP Notice And Do?
After the first baby, OP’s wife and OP noticed that their DIL wasn’t happy. They both thought it was related to Postpartum depression (PPD).
Just after the second arrived, OP’s son and DIL separated. She used to bring the kids over for a visit; then, she began sharing what happened with OP and his wife.
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OP knew there were two sides to every story, but considering they knew their son, OP believed her. OP sat his son down numerous times to speak with him regarding his marriage. He refused to take responsibility and blamed his ex-wife for everything, even when OP pointed out where he was the only problem.
They got into counseling, and for a year, things were ‘ok‘ on the surface.
OP’s daughter-in-law (DIL) filed for divorce, and his son, three days later, was on Facebook announcing his new girlfriend. A month later, they were engaged.
OP’s son had forced his then-wife to become a permanent SAHM at the birth of their first child. She, of course, had no other family or friends at that place; she knew no one besides OP and family. She had nowhere to go with two small children. Without saying anything to their son, OP’s wife, and OP helped her financially and got her an apartment.
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What Happened Next?
Before the divorce was finalized, they received a wedding invitation. OP made it clear to his son that he would not be attending and that they would not have his blessing.
Despite this, OP’s wife told him that she would ensure OP participated in the wedding. OP stayed consistent in his decision; OP also asked him not to bring his fiancée around their house out of respect for the mother of his children.
The wedding happened on Feb 11. The night before, OP’s wife gave him the final push, but OP did not attend. OP’s daughter also did not attend for the same reasons. OP’s wife picked up their grandkids, got them dressed, and attended the wedding.
OP’s daughter and OP decided to spend the evening with his ex. OP couldn’t imagine her sitting alone while her kids attended their father’s wedding.
She was taken aback that OP didn’t end up attending the wedding. OP and his daughter took her out to distract her mind. OP just wanted her to know she’ll always be considered family to them. OP’s daughter also joked that they could now drop their in-law status and be sisters. She was tearfully grateful; OP realized how badly she needed their support, specifically that night.
The following day, OP’s son called to tell him how much of a horrible father he is for not attending his wedding. A few days later, he caught wind that OP spent the wedding evening with his ex. OP’s son had perceived that as an ultimate form of betrayal and had declared that OP and his sister would have to earn a relationship with him on his terms only.
What do you think? Should the OP have attended their son’s wedding, or did they do the right thing by not attending and spending time with their ex-daughter-in-law instead? What would you do in this situation?
This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.