One of the biggest examples of misogyny in the corporate world is unintentionally avoiding women or making them feel less important due to anxiety issues or past trauma.
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking a female co-worker if they could possibly leave me alone?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
Backstory
Long story short, Original Poster, OP is not exactly comfortable around women, and he does what he can to minimize his interactions with females as much as he can.
“It has nothing to do with capabilities or anything. I just get extremely uncomfortable.”, says OP.
The Ongoing Problem
OP’s workplace has a new hire that has been trying to get to know people around the office better, and OP happens to just excuse himself when she comes around.
What Does OP Say
“Thankfully I work in the field a lot so I am often alone. So it does not happen often, but when I do come to the office she keeps trying to befriend or talk to me. I am civil and polite. I say hello, and can handle idle chit-chat, even if it is visibly uncomfortable for me.”, says OP.
Mission Impossible
The new lady brought this up with OP’s friend in the office and he explained the situation, and since then it seems she has made it her mission to have OP open up.
What Happened On Friday?
On Friday, OP asked the new lady if she could leave him alone please, that he has no intention to become her friend or open up.
She lashed out and called OP a misogynistic jerk. OP thought about it over the weekend and it has been racking his brain.
“Am I really a jerk for not wanting to put myself in uncomfortable situations if I can avoid it?”, OP asks.
OP’s Take On The Matter
If OP has to take her out in the field or help explain his drafts he will push through, since it is work-related. OP still gets uncomfortable but it is what it is.
Those are situations OP cannot avoid, but in general interactions, OP doesn’t think it is wrong of him to limit those when possible.
What Does OP Say?
“On the other hand, I also understand this is my problem, I go to therapy but that only does so much. This is something rooted in trauma and I am not comfortable writing about it. She should not be punished for my issues. So, Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
You Need More Therapy
“You need therapy. You will have many female coworkers. You will have female bosses. You will never have female employees because you won’t get promoted until you fix these issues you have. You are limiting yourself and alienating your coworkers. This will be noticed. Good luck.”
That Sounds Like Gynophobia
“If it was reversed and a man was trying to befriend a woman that was uncomfortable around men, the social media would be ready to lynch that hypothetical dude.
No, you can avoid people you dislike, and even ask to be left alone. Misogyny is hating women, but you’re closer to gynophobia, afraid of women. Not the jerk.”
You’re Absolutely The Jerk
“You’re the jerk, excluding women from socialization is exactly what misogynistic workforces have always done. It sets them back in office politics and it leads to them being passed over for promotions that they are deserving of.
While at work you need to work to overcome your hang-ups and honestly playing a long a little bit would probably have resolved this situation with a lot less personal interaction than what you now have to deal with.”
You Need To Work On Your Issues
“You’re the jerk. Not for having boundaries but for not working on your issues about women. Are you going to only work jobs where you don’t deal with women for the rest of your life?
Remember when Mike Pence refused to be alone with women in a professional setting? That meant that he was denying women professional access to him, which IS misogynistic.
Get some therapy and stop calling women ‘females’.”
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