Asking your fiancé to make his parents get up early can be a delicate situation. You want to be respectful of his parents, but you also want to be able to get ready for your big day without having to worry about them being in the way.

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking my fiancé to make his parents get up early?” Here’s the full story for you to conclude:


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The Original Poster, OP (F32) is getting married in less than a week to her soon-to-be husband (M34). On the day itself, she’s planning on getting ready with a few friends at home.

In-Laws Are Visiting

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Currently, OP has her in-laws visiting from another country, so they stay at their house.

OP’s MIL got injured and has trouble walking lately, so they ended up making her and FIL stay in their bedroom downstairs, while OP and her fiance are currently sleeping in the guest bedroom upstairs.

What Is Bothering OP?

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OP says, “It’s not a big problem, but I have to admit that I’m not fond of not having access to my room and clean clothes when I want to. I’m very independent, so being dependent on other people’s schedules has always bothered me.”

OP doesn’t need a lot of sleep. So, she goes to bed late and wakes up early. Her fiancé and his parents are opposites – they go to bed early and like to sleep in. So, OP is waiting for around 4-5 hours every day to get her clean clothes because, by the time she starts thinking about getting clean clothes for the next day, they’ve already gone to bed.

She Cannot Just Walk In

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It is extremely hard for OP to walk in on someone sleeping and she just hates to do it. It’s also partly because OP feels like she’s a guest in her own house and she needs to walk on tip-toes to not disturb anyone.

Why Is OP Starting To Get Stressed Out?

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They’ve only been staying here for about a week, so she’ll survive their stay, but she’s starting to get stressed out because of the wedding.

OP’s fiancé has also been gone for the past 4 days (he had to travel for his wedding suit and then he had his bachelor party), so she’s had to do all wedding-related stuff, clean up after his parents, play a good host, and also file taxes and do her job.

The Unexpected Pregnancy

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It’s a bit much, and on top of that, OP has recently found out that she’s nine weeks pregnant and suffering from terrible exhaustion and morning sickness (all day). OP feels herself being more irritable because she’s constantly sick/nauseous.

OP says, “So I’m not sure if my hormones are all whack because I’m pregnant and I’m truly being unreasonable, or if I’m actually justified in my feelings.”

Here’s Where OP Thinks She’s The Potential Jerk

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OP spoke to her fiancé yesterday and she asked him to tell his parents to rise early on the day of the wedding, so she can have access to her things and not have to worry about waiting for them for several hours. OP’s fiance called her selfish and said that she couldn’t ask that of people.

OP hates to pull the “But it’s our wedding day” card, but she feels like she’s not being unreasonable in asking them to do this for her stress levels.

“So, Am I a jerk for wanting my MIL and FIL to get up early on the wedding day, so I will have full access to my own bedroom and things without feeling like I’m not allowed in there?”, asks OP.

You Just Have Boundaries

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“Not the jerk, people need to get a grip. You’re already extremely accommodating, and it is definitely not an unreasonable request to have access to your own room on your wedding day!!

I definitely wouldn’t have let them stay there at all a week before the wedding, so you’re already very kind and patient. 

Having boundaries is not equal to being a jerk. You don’t need to bend backwards ON YOUR OWN WEDDING DAY just so they can sleep in.

Tell your fiance they either need to get up early or get a hotel for that single night. This is still YOUR home too.”

It’s Fair To Expect That Much

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“Not the jerk. Wedding mornings are busy as hell. It’s fair to expect them to be up and about so you can freely use the larger room.

In terms of the daily annoyance though I’m afraid you’re just going to need to get into the habit of planning your outfits ahead of time. It’s irritating but temporary.”

Being Stressful Is A Big No

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“Not the jerk at all. Your fiancé is being a jerk by creating this unnecessary stress on your WEDDING DAY. It is absolutely normal for brides to get ready from about 6 am and the MIL and FIL should absolutely be willing to accommodate this.

Is there any chance they could stay in a hotel the night before so you could have the master to yourself the day of the wedding? Adults needing to slep until 10.30 am is not normal.

You should not be having this stress on your wedding day, it’s totally unfair.”

It’s Your Wedding Morning

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“If it was day to day I’d just say that it’s probably better to collect your clothes the day before or move a surplus amount into the guest room but it’s the morning of your wedding. There’s going to be a lot of hustle and bustle. Their being up and about is a fair expectation. Congrats on the pregnancy!”

Here’s A Solution

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“Here’s a solution. Transfer them to the guest bedroom the night before the wedding. Just say, “I know it might be a little inconvenient for you but would you mind sleeping in the guest bedroom the night before the wedding? Because I’ll need my things to get ready in the morning and don’t want to disturb your sleep.”

I understand your MIL’s foot problem but I’m sure she’ll be ok for one day. And your fiancé is being thick not understanding why his parents sleeping there is inconvenient.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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