Not giving a lift to a coworker can be a socially awkward situation, especially if you have a good relationship with them. You may feel guilty or embarrassed, even if you have a valid reason for not giving them a ride.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for excluding a co-worker when I was giving a lift to others?”. Read the complete story to know more.
The original poster (OP) has a weekend job at a warehouse where most people can’t afford cars. They mainly rely on public transit which isn’t reliable when most of them end their shift.
Most of them used to walk 5 miles to the train station or stay at work for a few more hours (unpaid).
WHAT DID OP DO?
The train station is literally on the way to my second job and house, so OP offers rides to co-workers.
OP says that he drives a F-150 so the truck seats 5 people, including himself. 3-5 people (including himself) usually clock out at 2 in the morning, so he drives everyone in his shift to the train station.
IT IS FUN
He says that he doesn’t mind, his truck can fit them all and it’s fun to drive with others.
A LAZY WOMEN
He added that there’s this one woman he doesn’t care for that much, she has a reputation for being lazy.
While everyone would be working, she’s usually in the office or outside speaking with the supervisor who’s into her that he assumes.
WHAT DID THAT WOMAN DO?
He says that she also never thanked him or even says please, it’s like she’s entitled to a free ride.
WHAT DID OP DO?
So all of them clock out at 2 am, he said out loud the names of the people and said come with him. He said, “I’ll drop you guys off at the station”.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
As they are walking outside, she comes up to him and says “Can you drop me off? I’ll be ready in a few minutes, I have to change my shoes”.
WHAT’S OP REACTION?
OP said “Sorry but from now on, I don’t want to give you rides anymore. You should ask for a shift change”.
HOW DID THE WOMEN REACT?
He says that she got visibly upset and talked about how dangerous the streets and how he was petty for not giving her a ride.
WHAT OP TOLD FINALLY?
He changed his tone and said “Enough, it’s my truck. You can find your own way home, I’m not the city bus”.
He says that he caused a bit of a scene but his co-workers agreed with him, it’s his truck, he can choose who to let in.
Now OP wants to know if what he did is wrong.
YOU EMBARRASSED HER
“Of course it’s your truck and you can choose who rides it. But the way you did that is completely jerk material.
Instead of talking to her and saying you wouldn’t give her a ride anymore, you embarrassed her in front of everyone. If this is something that has become a custom then it’s natural for her to be expecting it on that day (because you said nothing before) and you just left her hanging.
Because of the way you did that (and also because how much she works shouldn’t affect this) and will go with “You are a jerk.”
YOU MADE A SCENE OUT OF IT
“You made a scene over it instead of just letting her know quietly that you’re no longer going to give her rides and her for being ungrateful and entitled for the rides you already gave her while also being a bad coworker.”
YOU SHOULD HAVE SPOKEN TO HER PRIVATELY
“You are a jerk, not for refusing her a ride, but the way in which you did it. You could’ve spoken to her privately and told her that you won’t be dropping her at the train station anymore so that she could arrange something else.
Instead, you specifically called out the names of people you were giving a ride to, waited for her to ask and then was rude to her in front of everyone. Fair enough, you don’t like and don’t want to give her a ride, you didn’t need to be so stupid about it though.”
BOTH OF YOU ARE JERKS
“It’s your truck, and you give rides to whoever you want.
But you didn’t have to make a public spectacle out of it.
Also, she should learn to grease the wheels a little with some please and thank yous.”
YOU ARE REMOVING HER SAFETY NET
“If it was about choosing whether or not to give her a lift in isolation, it’d be a different verdict. But it’s everyone, and you’re taking everyone else.
You used to include her. You’re now actively excluding her when it’s no extra effort to include her. Also, by dropping off everyone else, you’re removing her 2am safety net of being able to walk in a group instead of on her own.”
IT IS NOT A GOOD REASON
“Her job performance has nothing to do with getting a ride. I firmly believe no one is entitled to a ride, it’s a privilege and not everyone at my job will get that offer. You don’t like them, you don’t want to give them a ride, fine. But, “she’s lazy at work,” isn’t a good reason for me.
I also don’t make a thing out of it and loudly call for my co-workers who I do give rides to draw attention to the fact I’m doing it, just to have an opportunity to tell off the people I won’t give a ride to.
What you’re doing is creating a toxic work environment.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.