In today’s society, there is still a lot of stigma associated with stay-at-home wives. Some people mistakenly believe that they are lazy or unambitious, but this is simply not true. Being a stay-at-home wife is a demanding job that requires a wide range of skills, including time management, organizational skills, and patience. A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for calling my fiancee lazy for wanting to be a stay-at-home wife?
BACK STORY
The original poster was engaged to who he felt was the one for him. OP and his girlfriend have been dating for just over three years, and OP proposed to her last month.
WHAT DOES OP SAY
OP says that after another session of wedding planning last night, his fiancee asked if OP would be alright with her being a stay-at-home wife. At first, OP laughed because he thought she was joking, but OP’s girlfriend was very serious.
WHAT DID SHE SAY
OP’s girlfriend told him not to laugh and said she wanted to be a stay-at-home wife.
CAN’T AFFORD THE LIFESTYLE
OP asked her why, as they both make pretty good money at their jobs and can’t afford their current lifestyle with just one income. She says that she wanted to be the stay-at-home mom because OP makes a lot more than her, and she also said that they could scale back their lifestyle.
WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY
OP’s girlfriend said that working 9-5 wasn’t for her. He asked her if she was being serious, and she confirmed that she was.
WHAT DOES OP SAY
OP said he was uncomfortable with that idea and that maybe if they had kids, she could be a stay-at-home mom, but he was not cool with her being a stay-at-home wife. She said that he was being manipulative since they both were child-free.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP said he was not okay with being the family’s sole breadwinner, which changed into a heated argument. She told him that OP should support her dreams.
But OP says that she never stated what she wanted to do with her staying-at-home life, even after OP had asked about it.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
OP asked his girlfriend, amidst the argument, whether it was her dream to stay at home and whether it was her dream to be lazy. She got upset and went to her mother and said they would talk more when OP calmed down.
OP says that he doesn’t want her girlfriend to stay at home wife. He was also not okay with being the sole breadwinner and did not wish to support his girlfriend’s dream.
OP added that he wants a life partner who is not dependent and doing nothing productive with her days.
SHE IS WRONG
“So she waits until you propose, and she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger to tell you her “dream” of being lazy and then has the nerve to say that you’re the manipulative one? Jesus.”
SHE WILL BE UPSET
“If it’s that sudden, it may be a mental health issue or burnout. There are many jobs with unusual schedules, or she could freelance from home.
I have no clue what field she’s in or how feasible that is. I think you guys should probably talk this over in more detail. If you want to work it out, you’ll need to apologize to her first, regardless of how you feel. If she doesn’t want to work, there has to be something she’d rather do with her time, even if it’s watching tv/reading books/staring out the window for eight hours. I’d probably be upset with that too, but there is a reason she feels that way, and you should find out what it is.”
YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYED
“Dude, I think you’ve been played.
Just to be clear, you are NOT manipulative if you express your disagreement over a decision that affects both of you. You were expecting a partner, and up until this conversation, you were led into believing that’s what you had. SHE’S the one being manipulative here.
The fact that she sprung this up on you AFTER the proposal screams a red flag to me. You need to seriously rethink this.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.