Imagine you go out on a vacation with your family only to find out they’ve done some ridiculous partiality in making the sleeping arrangements for you and your significant other. How are you going to handle it?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for leaving my family vacation after they forced me and my pregnant wife to sleep in a bunk bed?” Here’s the full story for your context.

 

Backstory

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So just to set the stage, Original Poster, OP and his family went on vacation at a location around 8 hours away for a wedding.

OP has 2 sisters, both are married and one has a 1-year-old kid. OP’s parents rented an Airbnb so his whole family could stay at the same place for 5 days. 

 

What Happened When They All Checked In? 

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Check-in is at 4:00 PM, and both OP’s sisters and parents get there right on time, but OP and his wife who is 7 & 1/2 months pregnant, arrive at the Airbnb at 4:30 PM or so.

They start to unload the car and ask where their room is and OP’s mom responds: “You guys get the bunk bed.” OP, thinking it was a joke says “Ooh, I get top bunk!”

 

NO, It Wasnt A Joke

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Their response was “No, actually you get the bunk bed.”

They were 100% serious. While OP’s 2 other sisters get a room for themselves and their husbands, with queen size beds, OP and his wife get the literal kid’s room with a bunk bed!

 

How Did OP And His Wife Handle This?

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OP and his wife didn’t want to cause a scene and still wanted to be grateful for his parents paying for their accommodations, so they agreed to just give the bed a try for one night and see how it goes. 

 

Fast Forward To Bedtime 

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Fast-forward to bedtime, around 12:00, they lay down on the bed for the first time, it’s as if you’re sleeping on a wooden board. It’s incredibly uncomfortable even for OP, which means his wife was in a lot more pain due to her being pregnant.

They toss and turn for a couple of hours, and finally, they both agree to go sleep on the couch in the living room. It’s around 2:00 AM now, and the couch is by no means comfortable, but in comparison to the bed, it was a lot better. 

 

How Did They Spend The First Night?

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They get a couple of hours of sleep when OP’s dad wakes up and sees them on the couch and decides to go back to the master bedroom to not disturb them. 

Again, OP and his wife didn’t want to create a scene so they just went back upstairs and tried to get a little more sleep on the bunk bed before everyone woke up. 

They get around an hour of the worst sleep he’s ever had, and just decide to just wake up and go downstairs knowing they couldn’t do that for a second night.

 

What Did OP And His Wife Do To Get Past The Wedding?

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OP and his wife booked a room at a hotel for a couple more nights to just get past the wedding then they were going to leave for home.

After explaining the situation to OP’s whole family, instead of accepting it or helping them, most of his family started to get annoyed, saying that this is just another way for them to distance themselves from the family. 

“We just sternly say that we already made our decision and they were just going to have to accept it. Now most of my family is irritated at us saying that we ruined their trip. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP. 

 

This Is A Clear Cut ‘Not The Jerk’ Case

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“This is the easiest ‘not the jerk’ moment I’ve come across. You were given unrealistic accommodations and instead of complaining, you found reasonable ones.  If your family wanted you and your wife there that badly, they’d have offered to trade beds with you.

Also, if your presence was the make or break for an enjoyable trip, they should have given you the best bedroom.” 

 

Why Would They Even Do That?

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“I can’t even…just no. Good for you for looking out for your very pregnant wife (and yourself).

I’m old and not pregnant and if my parents did this I would do the same thing you did. Why would they even book this place knowing that your pregnant wife would have to sleep on a bunk bed?!? That’s next level, OP, sorry.” 

 

You Should’ve Said It Differently 

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“I have to wonder if this is a regular cycle.  They set you up for some kind of obvious failure, and then blame you when the obvious failure occurs.

But you shouldn’t have said ‘We’ve made our decision.’  That suggests the decision was up for debate. The right answer was a callout of the actual problem: ‘You can’t seriously expect someone 7 1/2 months pregnant to sleep on a bunk bed.

We even tried it, and there’s just no way.  It’s great to see you and I wish we could have made the whole trip work, but this is just totally unreasonable.’ ” 

 

It Seriously Makes No Sense 

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“It makes zero sense to put a pregnant woman in uncomfortable kids’ beds while everyone else gets a better bed. 

It’s not surprising that the bunk beds were uncomfortable.

If someone really didn’t see the problem, any of them could have volunteered to sleep in the bunk beds so they could have a queen bed. Did anyone offer that solution? Or did everyone just act like you were being difficult and should take it as it is?” 

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