A daughter’s accusation has ignited a family dispute, with claims that her mother failed to stand up for her choice of attire at a recent wedding.

A user recently asked, “Am I a jerk for letting my daughter be kicked out of a wedding since she wasn’t modest enough?”. Read on to know what happened. 


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Original Poster: OP’s daughter is 18, Emma. Before she turned 18, they had a rule that OP could ask them to change if the outfit wasn’t appropriate. It rarely happened because OP truly didn’t care as long as the main parts were covered. 

Now when they turned 18, they were adults and most of the house rules didn’t really apply. 

The Wedding Invitation 

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All of them were invited to the wedding of a close friend.

OP’s daughter is friends with her daughter and OP is friends with the mother. They are religious, OP knows this, and OP’s daughter knows this as well. It was a church, and the invite said modest, knee length, and so on. OP didn’t expect anything else.

What Happened A Few Weeks Ago?

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Well a few weeks ago, Emma showed what dress she was going to wear, and OP mentioned that it won’t work, the dress was cute but strapless. OP thought she would change it, but she didn’t. 

On The Day Of The Wedding 

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On the day of the wedding, she wore the same dress. OP even commented that it won’t work again. She said it would be fine.

Well, they got there, and OP’s daughter’s friend’s brother stopped her at the door; she tried to argue but got kicked out. OP still went to the wedding.

OP Got Home

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OP got home today and her daughter called her a jerk for not defending her and staying at the wedding with their old-school dress code. Now OP asks the forum and wants to know if she is wrong here.

She Should Take Accountability For Her Actions 

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“Not the jerk. She has the freedom to dress as she wishes, she has the freedom of being the sole responsible for the consequences.”, said one. 

“Yeah she chose to exercise her agency in clothing and while the rules may be harsh, it was a voluntary event that she chose to attend. She should therefore take accountability for what happened.”, another added. 

It’s Straight Up Rude

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“Not the jerk. She knew the dress code and regardless of the wedding, entering a church in anything sleeveless and short is rude and will get you kicked out. It’s about respecting the place where you are going.” 

That’s Not Your Fault 

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“Not the jerk. You didn’t control your daughter, you just warned her about the dress code. She chose to ignore it, and as a result, she wasn’t let in. That’s not your fault.” 

She Should’ve Made Her Point Differently 

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“Sounds like she was trying to make a point about the dress code.  Disrupting someone else’s wedding is not the right way to do that.  She should have RSVPed in the negative *and said why*.  

That would have let her stand up for herself without disrupting someone else’s wedding.” 

Your Daughter’s Immature 

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“When you are a guest at someone’s wedding, you abide by their wishes, especially when they are explicitly stated. If you can’t, don’t go.

You even warned her twice, and she chose to ignore you, then had the nerve to get mad that you didn’t cause a scene. What the hell did she expect would happen? Your daughter has the maturity of a 13-year-old.” 

It’s Called Being Respectful

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“I’m an atheist but I still respect other people’s religious customs etc. If you’re supposed to dress modestly in church, you dress modestly in church. It’s called being respectful. She made her adult choice and she could go and stay her adult self at home.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.

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