You cannot agree to be someone’s bridesmaid and then throw a tantrum when you don’t like the color of the dress they chose!

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for refusing to change the color of my sister’s bridesmaid dress, even though she hates it?”. Please look into this matter!

BACKSTORY 

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The Original Poster (OP) (23F) is getting married to her fiancé (25M) in November. “We’re excited, and the day is fast approaching,” says OP.

OP’S BRIDESMAIDS

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OP has five women being her bridesmaids. One of them is OP’s sister, Millie (21F). Millie has always been more of a tomboy growing up but doesn’t have an issue with wearing dresses for formal events.

THE MATCHING DRESSES 

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She (OP) wants her bridesmaids to wear matching dresses, which everyone knew when they accepted. 

“I bought and paid for the dresses. They’re a relatively simple style and in a pastel pink color”, says OP. 

MILLIE IS ANGRY 

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Millie is now angry, saying she won’t wear the dress because it’s pink and “too girly.” She threatens not to attend the wedding unless OP returns her dress and picks out another color.

OP IS DISTRAUGHT 

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She (OP) is distraught that Millie would make such a problem out of a dress color when she knew OP wanted the bridesmaids to match.

“I think Millie is being dramatic and could deal with wearing the dress for one day, but to be honest, my feelings are hurt that she’d threaten to drop out of the wedding over this,” says OP. 

WHAT NEXT?

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OP’s fiancé thinks OP should kick Millie out of the wedding party before she causes more significant problems closer to or on the day. OP’s parents got involved in this and told her to exchange the dress for the same one in a different color and that they were acting like children.

“Will I be a jerk if I told Millie to accept it and wear the dress if she wants to be a bridesmaid and not budge on the issue?” asks OP. 

SHE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT 

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“Not the jerk. Whether Millie is a tomboy is irrelevant. She agreed to be a bridesmaid. This is what you chose. I’d have more sympathy if the style was extremely low cut & it didn’t fit a busty woman or something of that nature. 

Simply hating the color and demanding it to be changed is unfair! She has to deal with it. It’s one day & she didn’t have to pay for it.” 

SHE IS BEING IMMENSELY SELFISH 

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“Don’t budge. Millie is being selfish and ridiculous. It’s your wedding day, and she is making it about herself. She seriously can’t accept it and wear pink for one day? If she wants to make a fool of herself and back out of the wedding over something so childish and stupid, let her. 

She’ll regret it when she looks back years from now. You focus on enjoying her day and don’t worry about her bad attitude. The way she’s acting isn’t fair to you.” 

SHE NEEDS TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT 

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“Millie is too old to hang on to the hatred of pink that half of teenage girls have. She’s a grown-up, she can wear the dress or attend as a guest in a different one. Not the jerk.” 

THIS IS YOUR WEDDING 

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“Not the jerk. This is your wedding, so these decisions are yours. What a selfish girl. Tell your sister that is the dress, and if she doesn’t want to wear it, then she’s not a bridesmaid. Bridesmaids are supposed to support the bride, not create problems over nothing.” 

LISTEN TO YOUR FIANCE 

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“Not the jerk. It’s your wedding. Millie doesn’t get to choose. I would listen to your fiancé. This is a warning sign there’s more trouble to come; this was never about a dress.”

DEMOTE HER TO A REGULAR GUEST 

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“You can pick what you’d like, and Millie can choose not to participate because of it. Tell her you understand if the pinks make her uncomfortable, and she’s welcome to attend as just a guest in another color.” 

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