Women in their 20s: are you struggling in your dating life? This post is for you.
A user recently asked on the internet, Women in their 40s and 50s, what’s the biggest suggestion you would give to women dating in their 20s? Here are the top twelve responses we didn’t want you to miss:
SETTLING DOWN QUICKLY
“Never settle. Settling is probably one of the biggest mistakes people make, IMO. It drains you mentally and physically.” Said one.
“Seconded. The effects of a breakup are fleeting next to the consequences of a long, mediocre relationship.” Another added.
TRYING TO FIX THEM
“You can’t fix him, no matter what he tells you. He’s choosing to be that way.” Said one.
“Yup. Do not waste your precious time and energy on low-quality or deeply flawed men. You need a partner, not a project.” Another added.
IGNORING YOUR GUT
“Whatever your gut is telling you now, you will wish you had listened to it.” Said one
” This is #1 advice. For safety as well. Listen to your gut and don’t silence your intuition!! It may save your life. For me, I always know when some situation is wrong when my stomach gets upset.”
SECOND-GUESSING YOURSELF
“If you have to ask “should I” (break up, stay, whatever) you already know the answer.” Said one.
“My grandmother used to tell me that the key to life is knowing when to leave. Whether it’s a party, relationship, job…. Knowing when to leave and then physically leaving is imperative to being true to yourself.” Another added.
LETTING GO OFF YOUR SELF-WORTH
“Your partner will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.” Said one.
“What you permit, you promote.” Another added.
NOT STOPPING VIOLENCE WHEN IT FIRST STARTS
“Renovations of a home are a project.
Renovations of a damaged human are best left to the experts.
Once is too much for violence. Decide, when calm, what you are willing to do & don’t amend at the moment. Always have a girlfriend with you and never accept an open drink”
NOT ENSURING BOTH ARE ON THE SAME PAGE
“Before you even start a relationship, find out their future expectations. If they don’t match up with yours, walk away.” Said one.
“Yup, you need to have the same values and want the same things at the same time out of life. Can’t be with someone who wants kids in 15 years if you want them now, etc.” Another added.
IGNORING OR ENJOYING HOW HE TREATS OTHER WOMEN
“Look at the way a man treats women he has no romantic interest in. Misogynists will reveal themselves very early on if you pay attention to this – they may manipulate you into thinking they’re great, but they can’t seem to resist any opportunity to treat women they don’t find attractive (the old, the fat, their relatives) like they have no value.”
GIVING A CHEATER ANOTHER CHANCE
“Once a cheater not always a cheater. But once a cheater about 98% will cheat again and it’s probably best to leave.”
RUSHING TO SETTLE DOWN
“Don’t rush to settle down. Live your life. Travel, make friends, and enjoy new experiences. Enjoy time on your own. Sure you can travel with kids, but what if life has other plans once you have them?
The one thing I wish I’d done: If your gut doesn’t feel right about him, LEAVE! Your gut is never wrong. Don’t listen to the people telling you to grab him if your gut isn’t feeling it. They aren’t the ones that have to live with him.”
HOPING MEN READ OUR MIND
“You need to figure out exactly what YOU want in a relationship before you can find someone able to provide that.
Also, my husband told me early on that most men aren’t trying to hurt you. They want to please you but are often idiots about how to do so.
Before getting angry at him for not meeting your needs or expectations, tell him that these are things you want. Men can’t read our minds even if we’d like them to. Give him the tools for success.”
LOSING OTHER PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES
“Keep your friends close.
Don’t disappear when you get into a relationship. Do the work to maintain those ties. Keep up with your family obligations. If the prospective partner doesn’t like the things that make you you, they’re not the one. Don’t try to change your fundamental self for anyone.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.