People go through different types of traumatic experiences in their lifetime, so they have every right to set healthy boundaries in order to protect themselves.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for not staying with my wife during her C-section?”. We want to know from you.
OP doesn’t like to be inside the Operating room because of a past trauma.
WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST?
When OP’s ex wife had her C-section, she had a complication and she hovered between life and death for a long time. He felt very helpless and it was, overall, a very horrible experience for OP. OP is under therapy.
OP SET HIS BOUNDARY
When OP and his current wife decided to try for children, OP made it very clear that he didn’t care what her choice of delivery would be.
But if it is a C-section, then he wouldn’t enter the operating room. He also said that he would be by her side at all times, except the surgery.
SHE BECAME PREGNANT
OP’s wife finally became pregnant. In the middle of her pregnancy, she decided that it would be a C-section.
OP REITERATED HIS BOUNDARY
OP reiterated his boundary and his wife was fine with it. She invited her mother to take OP’s place.
On the day of surgery, before she had a C-section, she wanted OP to go in with her as she wanted a moment of their own.
OP apologized and told her that he couldn’t go in the operating room with her. She had a crying face and said “Fine, I’ll go with my mother then”.
OP tried talking to her but she didn’t budge and his mother-in-law kept looking at him with disgust.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Everything went well and they had a beautiful and healthy baby girl.
OP’S WIFE WAS DISAPPOINTED
Later, OP’s wife told him that their current priority is their daughter so she didn’t want to talk about anything else. But she said that she was disappointed in him as a partner.
Now OP wants to know if what he did was wrong.
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“Doctors don’t want anyone in the room who is NOT helpful. Nervous, anxious, angry, confrontational, whatever will distract them, influence the patient, take up unproductive physical space, and time.”, said one user.
Not A Jerk
“My husband had to be escorted out of the room before my second son was born because he couldn’t handle the sight of the spinal block needle.
He later admitted that he was beginning to hyperventilate because I’d had complications with my first birth, and he felt like he could lose me.
He was only allowed to reenter the room when they were sure that he would help my situation, not make it worse.
This guy knew his limits and isn’t any less of a man because he admitted his limitations. He explained to his wife why he wouldn’t be there.”, said another user.
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.