The money situation while buying properties together can be really tricky, especially when the couple is not married.

The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for insisting that my boyfriend be on the mortgage in order to be on the title of my first house purchase?”. We want to know from you. 

BACKSTORY

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OP is a physician and her boyfriend is currently unemployed.

OP WAS BARELY MAKING ENDS MEET

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OP had been working for more than 60 hours per week for the past 10 years. She had been living on next to nothing all this time, and had been barely making ends meet.

OP RECENTLY GRADUATED RESIDENCY

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OP recently graduated residency and has a job now. She’s buying a house in a different state. 

OP’S BOYFRIEND IS HELPING WITH THE CLOSING COST

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As he is currently unemployed, OP’s boyfriend is using his severance pay from his last job to help with the closing cost, which is $22,000. 

DOCTOR’S LOAN

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The mortgage, on the other hand, is a doctor’s loan that is only under OP’s name, because they got better interest rates that way. This amounts to $554,000.

WHAT DOES HE WANT?

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OP’s boyfriend wants both of them to be on the title. 

OP’S TAKE ON IT

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OP feels uncomfortable with this and she keeps telling her boyfriend that they can refinance later once he is back on his feet again, so that he can be on the title and mortgage.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

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OP’s boyfriend was still not convinced so OP offered to do it if they had an ironclad agreement drafted by an attorney. 

IT WAS TOO CLOSE

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They couldn’t proceed with OP’s offer as it was too close to closing to manage that. One thing led to the other, and they had massive arguments. OP is no longer sure that they would even get married after the arguments they have had. She’s unsure if she made a mistake by not letting him be on the title.

Now OP wants to know if this is wrong.

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?

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“This is a hill to die on- if he can’t contribute, he doesn’t get to be on the title. If you have to break up over this, and I don’t say that lightly, this is something to break up over.”, said one user.

I Wouldn’t Even Take His Money

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“He’s helping pay closing costs and he has no job. At best I would consider in agreement that he gets his $22,000 back if they break up, but I actually wouldn’t even take his money.”, said another user.

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