Do you find gender reveal parties disgusting or pointless? If you do, is it okay to snap and make someone feel stupid for organizing one?

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my sister gender reveal parties are tacky and attention seeking?”. Here’s the full story for your context.


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The Original Poster (OP) feels her sister (25f) has always been a bit of an attention seeker. She would always announce her grades, new jobs, raises, etc., whenever the family was together.

It Killed OP

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It killed OP when she used to tell the entire family she got a 100 on her test in a class that they were taking together, even though she knew OP only got a C- or D+, and they would ask OP how she did after her announcement.

“She was always the golden child, and I (26f) was the screwup.”, says OP.

A Couple Of Weeks Ago

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OP and her sister are both pregnant right now, both of their first kids. She’s married with a great job and a house and OP is on her own in a studio right now. A couple of weeks ago, OP got an invitation to her gender reveal barbecue/pool party.

What Does OP Say

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“I didn’t want to deal with her showing off to the entire family in front of me so I told her I won’t be coming.”, says OP.

What Happened Next

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OP’s sister asked why, so OP told her that she (OP) didn’t want to deal with her (sister’s) friends and their family.

“She insisted it would be fun, so I told her that gender reveal parties are tacky and I don’t want to deal with it.”, says OP.

The Final Fuss

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OP’s sister, again, insisted that it would be fun and just to think of it as a barbecue with colored cookies. OP snapped at her that she didn’t want to go to a stupid party to watch her show off to their family just like she did when they were younger.

She hung up on OP, and now their parents are upset at OP for being rude to her.

Is OP being a jerk here? What do you think?

Stop Being Jealous

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“You’re the jerk – your sister is sharing her life milestones with her family, that’s not attention seeking at all. Stop being jealous and bitter.”

There Was No Need To Insult Her

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“You’re the jerk. There was no need to insult her, you could have just stuck with I don’t want to go. I agree with your sentiment that gender reveals are dumb but she doesn’t.

If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.”

Try To Be Happy For Her

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“Are you going to be bitter and jealous forever because your younger sibling outperformed you academically? It’s normal to want to celebrate your successes in life with your family. Try to be happy for her.”

Get Over Yourself

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“You’re the jerk- You sound very bitter. Get over yourself and be happy for your sister. You don’t have to attend this party in particular, but you clearly have a chip on your shoulder and used this opportunity to try to be hurtful.”

Being Proud Is Different Than Seeking Attention

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“There is a difference between being proud of an accomplishment and seeking attention. Just because someone is proud of what they accomplished, it doesn’t mean they are rubbing it in your face. That must be a miserable train of thought.”

Time To Press The Pause Button

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“Not the jerk. How many times were you expected to say ‘No’ before your sister accepted your answer? You have every right to accept or decline the invitation and no one should be forcing you to go.

I don’t know whether you genuinely think these parties are tacky or if it was frustration speaking but I honestly loathe the concept, just another attention-seeking opportunity for parents. I think you have been made to feel you’re in second place long enough, time to press the pause button.”

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