While friendships are beautiful and precious, it is important to recognize red flags to protect ourselves from negative experiences.
A user asked the forum, What are red flags in a friendship most people brush away? Here are the common responses.
FEELING AWFUL WHEN HANGING OUT WITH THEM
“When you hang out with them, it feels like you’re defusing a bomb when there’s nothing going on right then.”
TALKING ONLY ABOUT THEIR OWN SUCCESS
“Friends that only care to talk about their own success and aren’t genuinely happy for you and yours unless it amounts to less than their own.”
JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE FRIENDS
“Really jealous and possessive friends. I’m a jealous person by nature, and even though my jealousy flares up when I see my friends hanging out with other people, I would never let them know. Why? Because I don’t want them to feel bad about doing the things they love (e.g., having a social life outside my little world).”
NOT RESPECTING YOU
“If a person tries to box you up because they want you all to themselves, it’s not a proof of love or companionship. True love (in any kind of relationship like friends, family, lovers) is shown by respect and allowing the other person to have free will.”
NOT RESPECTING YOUR BOUNDARIES
“Friends who are good to you when one on one but constantly put you down In group settings. This is a big sign of insecurity/jealousy. Other signs: inappropriate attention-seeking behaviors, trying to twist the situation on you when confronted about things, not respecting your boundaries, being super friendly with new people but in a disingenuous “I wanna be liked the most” way, constant gaslighting, getting mad at you for not going by the exact same moral playbook as them, when in group settings they get really uncomfortable and try to change the subject or put you down extra if attention is on you, acting they like can take constructive feedback but actually taking it out on you in small ways throughout the rest of the day.
Edit Thanks for all the upvotes and the silver! Wish you all the best of luck in ridding yourselves of toxic friendships 🙂 (don’t go wasting your time on people who don’t treat you with the respect you deserve).”
GETTING ANXIOUS WHEN YOU RECEIVE MESSAGES FROM THEM
“You see, you got a private message from them, and your gut reaction is to start getting nervous or anxious.
“What is it this time…”
GOSSIPING
“Friends who gossip excessively. If they’re talking about other people, chances are they’re talking about you.”
PRAISING ALWAYS
“Being dismissive of all your interests and achievements. Meanwhile, everything they do, no matter how mundane, is amazing.”
NOT PRIORITIZING YOU
“They only talk to you when all of their other friends are gone.”
THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING IN RETURN FOR YOU
“Always asking for favors but never there when you need them to return one.”
WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION
“Friends that don’t let you have any other friends and require 100% of your time when they can’t give you the same.”
THEY ARE ON THEIR PHONE ALWAYS
“Having their damn phone in their face the whole time. If they do that, they don’t want a friend, and they want company. It’s not the same.”
NEVER ASK HOW YOU ARE DOING
“Friends who are always happy to talk about themselves but never once ask you how you’re doing or anything engaging you to talk about yourself.”
REMEMBERING YOU ONLY WHEN THEY NEED YOU
“They call you only when they need you.”
NOT APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR WRONG DEEDS
“Inability or unwillingness to apologize when he or she does something wrong. It’s symptomatic of an ego issue that will eventually infect every aspect of your friendship.”
THEY NEVER CARE ABOUT YOU
“They don’t ask about you, and they just turn every conversation about themselves. When you talk about exams, they don’t ask you how you did. They just talk about themselves; when you talk about not sleeping well, they talk about how they didn’t sleep; when you tell them you broke up with your SO, they talk about their SO, etc.”
BULLYING OTHERS
“When they push other people out of the friend group. It happened in my group, where there were 5 of us; she joined and basically bullied 3 out of the group. But it wasn’t obvious bullying. A lot of things change; the next thing I know, I’m being treated like trash to the point I hate myself. My friend and I managed to leave and make friends with the original five again. The one that kicked everyone out is very social, and no one really likes her bc she’s not nice, but she’s now found herself with no friends.”
ALWAYS POINTING OUT FLAWS
“They never say anything supportive of you. But they will point out your flaws and can’t wait to burn you because it is funny to them. And then the follow-up of “You’re too sensitive” and “It’s just joking.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.