Most parents would be proud of their child for helping the teacher to catch cheaters but what if this goes wrong? Can the parent be upset with their child for doing what’s right?
An internet user recently asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my son I’m not proud of him after he helped his teacher bust half his class cheating?”. We want to know your thoughts.
Backstory
The Original Poster or OP and his wife have two sons (15 and 9). This relates to the older one. He does pretty well in school, and most teachers have nothing but good things to say about him.
On One Fine Day
One of OP’s son’s teachers asked him for help catching some kids cheating. The teacher left some fake test answers on his desk and pretended to go to the bathroom.
His Son Showed Answers To Many People
His son then showed as many people the answers as possible before the teacher returned. Then he helped the teacher identify who had looked at the answers.
What Does OP Say?
OP says, “We only heard about this a couple of weeks later. The said teacher got into some trouble because more than half of your students failing an exam looks bad for you as well as them.
It was only then that our son revealed the part he played, and that some kids at school were angry at him for helping the teacher.”
What Happened Next
OP told him that while kids shouldn’t be giving him trouble about that, and he’d help stop it if need be, he shouldn’t be surprised.
He told him he doesn’t always need to bow and scrape to authority, and 5 extra points on the test weren’t worth getting 16 other people in trouble. His son argued they got themselves in trouble, but OP still said he didn’t need to help.
What Is OP Concerned About, And What Does His Wife Think?
OP explained that to the other kids, including his friends. He’s saying that he respects the teacher more than he respects them. OP is concerned that nobody will ever trust him after he lies like that. He thought OP would be proud of him, but not for that, all he did was lie to sell out his friends.
OP’s Wife Is On Their Son’s Side
OP’s wife is on their son’s side, and thinks they should be happy he helped enforce the rules. She argues the kids are solely at fault for looking at the answers, and they should be proud their son helped get some troublemakers in trouble.
She also thinks he’s teaching him not to respect authority, and is going to make him think breaking the rules is right.
What A Terrible Teacher!
“The real jerk in this story is the teacher. What a terrible position she put your son in.” Said one.
“Not to mention the son was proactively showing the answers around himself; they hardly hatched some sneaky plot to outfox the system. Teachers should be disciplined.” Another added.
Hope She Gets Fired
“So this terrible teacher enlisted your son to help “catch” cheaters by having him SHOW THEM the answers? Hell, she made HIM a cheater, too. I hope she gets fired.” Said one.
“Yeah, I thought he was going to sit back and report the kids who went through her desk or something, instead he runs around and tries to trick Jehovah’s Witnesses into cheating.” Another added.
This Was Totally Entrapment
“I’m going with ‘Not the jerk’, because of how it was done. Your son should know it’s okay to tell an authority figure about anything, but this was entrapment. If the police did what that teacher did, their case would be thrown out of court.”
“This was totally entrapment! Came here to say this. It would be one thing to leave the answers on the desk and have OP’s kid write down the names of people who went up to look – but to wave the answers at people and then rat them out for taking him up on it? Teenagers, teachers and moms are jerks.” Another added.
Society Functions On Some Unsaid Rules
“The rule of law (or other authority) is not the only set of rules that a society functions on.
Your son violated a social contract with his peers. He needs to understand that and know that the consequences will be long-lasting. If these kids end up being his coworkers or worse his supervisor later on in life will they remember his deception and act accordingly.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.