Your parents missing your wedding has to be one of the worst feelings in life. But what if they had a valid reason?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my son he needs to get over us missing his wedding?”. We need you to intervene in the matter!
Backstory
The Original Poster’s (OP’s) son got married a few years ago, he lives on the other side of the country than them. He got a great job opportunity after college so he moved down.
What Happened Two Years Ago?
Two years ago, OP’s son got married to Jenny and what OP heard was a beautiful wedding. So the whole issue started when OP and her husband were trying to get there. The wedding was on Saturday and their plane left Thursday night.
“Well it got delayed and then delayed about four more times (Friday morning at this point) and then all the planes got canceled due to a storm.”, says OP.
What Did They Do Next?
When that happened, it was clear OP and her husband were not leaving and driving there would take too long and they would still miss the ceremony. So they informed their son and he was annoyed. They sent their well wishes and told him they could FaceTime if he wanted.
“He told us no, and we saw a video of him getting married.”, says OP.
Fast Forward To Today
Now, let’s come to the present-day issue. Any time they get into an argument or OP’s son wants his parents to do something, he pulls up a “you missed my wedding” card.
OP and her husband were talking on the phone about hosting Thanksgiving this year. He got mad asking why wouldn’t they visit him and OP told him they didn’t have the money for the trip and they just saw him in July.
The Argument Escalated
They got into an argument again and he pulled the “you missed our wedding, it’s the least you can do” card again. OP told him it was enough and that he needed to get over it.
“He called me a jerk. My daughter learned about it as she is on our side but I don’t know.”, says OP.
Some Additional Information
OP later edited the post and added the following information:
“Also because it has been asked a lot, yes we looked into other airports where the planes were grounded also. We are from Maine and the storm was going through our state and then riding down the east coast. We weren’t getting a flight, and yes we looked. It basically blocked travel for two days. If we did go down a state or two we would be following the storm and we wouldn’t get a flight.”
You Made All The Reasonable Efforts
“Not the jerk – if all of the cross-country flights were canceled due to weather and you’d planned on being there a full day and a half ahead of time then you made what any reasonable person would consider a good faith effort to be there.
Plane tickets (and wedding plans) are usually made months in advance, well before any potential weather issues arise. I’m sure that OP wasn’t the only one unable to get across the country. It’s awful and is understandably upsetting to the son whose wedding is missed, but it is what it is.”
You Tried Your Best
“Not the jerk. I’m sure he’s upset but you tried. You can’t control the weather and it got delayed multiple times before ultimately being canceled. You did the smart thing by trying to come in a few days early but you can’t control the weather.”
He Does Need To Get Over It
“Not the jerk. You had no control over canceled flights. Your son is being very immature and selfish. His using your “missing his wedding therefore you owe him” ploy is just a manipulation tactic to get his own way. Telling him to get over it was not wrong, he needed to hear it. You have done nothing wrong.”
That Was Nobody’s Fault
“Not the jerk. It sounds like you did all you could. It’s terrible that you missed his wedding and I feel for all of you, but that was nobody’s fault and he needs to accept that and not use that as a weapon.”
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