To some people, the concept of gender reveal parties happens to be beyond stupid. Nevertheless, it cannot be more stupid than organizing one on the very day you were told not to!
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for missing my brother’s gender reveal?”. We want to answer!
Backstory
The Original Poster, OP doesn’t think she’s a jerk but would like some input. OP (F31) has a brother (M23) who is going to have his first baby.
“My family, meaning my mom, dad, sisters, my husband and myself, are all happy for him.”, says OP.
What Happened At The MeetUp?
They all met up at OP’s mom’s house in early September for their dad’s birthday and OP’s brother and his girlfriend were mentioning the upcoming gender reveal in October. OP told her brother a specific date in October that she had already an event to go to.
“A friend of mine is celebrating her birthday by bar hopping downtown in a party bus. We are all going to share the cost since it was quite expensive.”, says OP.
OP’s brother assured her that it was going to be on a Sunday.
Fast Forward To Yesterday
Time skip to yesterday, OP’s brother sent off the invitation to the gender reveal via their entire family’s WhatsApp group chat and it was the exact day of the party.
OP responded by asking why it was on Saturday and that she had a previous commitment that she had RSVP to. His response was “I guess a party bus is more important than a gender reveal.”
When OP Reminded Him
OP reminded her brother that they had already talked about it. OP’s aunt chimed in, reminding them that it was her and another cousin’s birthday.
“He said that he would not change the date because some of his girlfriend’s relatives are coming from other states. Will I be a jerk if I miss his gender reveal?”, asks OP.
Your Presence Isn’t Critical To Him
“Not the jerk. You gave him your availability. He chose to ignore it. If your attendance was so critical he would not have done so.”
Gender Reveal Parties Are Weird
“Not the jerk, ‘gender reveal’ parties are weird and boring. Go enjoy the party bus. What exactly are these people celebrating? This obsession over an unborn child’s genitalia, which has nothing to do with gender, is maddening to me. Plus the expectation for anyone else to get involved in their harmful (transphobic) delusion is asking a lot.”
Enjoy That Party Bus
“Not the jerk! Gender reveals are not that important. Make a point to go to the baby shower and show your support but girl ENJOY THAT PARTY BUS!”
Brother Is Acting Unreasonable!
“Your brother planned this event around his girlfriend’s family’s schedule without consulting anyone in his own family. Now he’s mad at the consequences of his own actions and being passive-aggressive towards you. Not the jerk.
A Prior Engagement Holds More Importance
“Not the jerk, a prior engagement is a prior engagement. If you can’t attend the gender reveal it’s not the end of the world. At the end of the day, it’s just something that can be communicated by a phone call and doesn’t need a bloody party.”
This Isn’t On You
“Not the jerk. You already RSVP’d to another party quite a while in advance and you already told your brother this. This isn’t on you.”
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