Making assumptions about women and their period practices is certainly one of the worst things a man can do. Moreover, going around snooping to see if she’s telling the truth or not is simply not a gentleman’s thing!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for asking a girl I’m seeing about her period?”. Here’s the full story for your context.
Backstory
A girl OP is seeing slept over the other night and when she was here, stuff got a little intimate. She ended up saying she was on her period. No big deal, OP gave her a back rub, and they watched movies the rest of the night.
The Next Morning
The next morning, she was getting ready to go home, and OP went to the bathroom his garbage was empty, and he didn’t see her get up a single time to change her pad or tampon.
So, OP questioned her about it and told her if OP made her uncomfortable when he was making intimate advances, she could’ve just said so and didn’t need to lie about being on her period.
The Conversation Ahead
The girl immediately got defensive and said she had no reason to lie.
OP told her he saw nothing that indicated she changed her tampon or pad that night and if she left a tampon or pad in all night in fear of leaving it in OP’s garbage, that he didn’t care about that and that he has sisters and understands the dangers of using the same tampon or pad all night.
Final Argument
She said she was aware and didn’t need OP to “mansplain” periods to her and she called OP weird and left.
“She’s blocked me on everything, and this feels very over-dramatic, I was just looking out for her. Am I a jerk?”, asks OP.
Pads And Tampons Aren’t The Only Options
“You’re the jerk. Pads and tampons aren’t the only options for periods. There are menstrual cups and reusable pads that are more eco-friendly.
I promise you, she didn’t need you to lecture her on period safety.”
You Shouldn’t Be Mansplaining Periods To A Woman
“You’re the jerk and you shouldn’t be mansplaining periods to a woman. I had a housemate whose flow was so light that she used nothing, she could just wipe it away with a piece of loo roll.
Also, she could have a super heavy flow and be using a cup. I mean, the fact that none of these things occurred to you should tell you that you’re not in a position to be discussing how a woman manages her period.”
That Was A Bit TOO MUCH!
“Eyeballing the trash and bringing it up as evidence that she lied about intimacy time is a bit much. As others have said, she may have been using a menstrual cup or is one of those women who may wrap up their stuff in a plastic bag and bring it home with them to avoid leaving it in someone else’s garbage.
Whether she lied or not, playing Sherlock Holmes with her period supplies and pressing her for straightforward answers about her method is pretty weird.”
You’re Being A Weirdo!
“When you don’t take a woman at her word and then snoop the garbage for evidence before assuming the worst, you’re being a weirdo and raising a bunch of red flags. Just no man. If I did that to a girl I was dating, I would not be surprised if she just ghosted me afterwards.”
It Was Very Awkward And Controlling
“Even if you meant well, it was very awkward and controlling to:
1) Question her about her period
2) basically accuse her of lying
3) mansplain how periods work.
You made things super awkward. You shouldn’t have said anything.”
You Need Therapy
“My god, how insecure are you? Your manhood was so shaken by being rejected you had to ‘make sure’ she wasn’t lying when she said she had her period by going through the trash? Get therapy.”
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