Some parents expect their relatives to babysit their kids for free. While there’s nothing wrong about it if the person is genuinely willing to do that, it’s certainly not okay to force or guilt people into doing it!
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for wanting to go on vacation with friends and not babysit my niece who is in the same hotel?”. Here’s the full story for your context:
Backstory
To start things off, the Original Poster, OP (29M), and three of his friends booked a weekend trip (Friday – Sunday) a few weeks ago.
“It‘s my first time off since the beginning of May. To say I am thrilled is an understatement. We plan to party at night and chill at the pool by day.”, says OP.
What Happened Yesterday
OP also told his brother (43) and SIL (39) a few weeks ago that he was really excited to stay in this specific hotel since it is on the pricier end.
Yesterday, OP’s brother contacted him, saying that they will be staying in the same hotel with OP’s niece (4) at the same time as OP.
What Did OP’s Brother Want?
In the message, OP’s brother wrote to OP that they are also really excited that OP can help with his niece since he is also there and they can relax in the meantime and according to them, OP has nothing better to do.
What Does OP Say In His Defense?
“Do not get me wrong, I love my niece to pieces, but I really want to enjoy this weekend and not have any responsibility for anyone besides myself.
I want to relax, be drunk and have fun with my friends. They are staying in the same hotel so I can’t avoid them even if I wanted to.”, says OP.
The Dilemma
The vacation is not refundable. OP is either stuck with babysitting (her parents are really pushy and OP is the worst at setting boundaries) or his family will think OP hates his niece.
“I am frustrated as hell. So, will I be a jerk if I tell them I don’t want to spend time with them?”, asks OP.
Stand Up For Yourself And Tell Him No
“Not the jerk. Just tell your brother you have plans with your friends and unfortunately aren’t available to watch your niece.
Suggest that he can ask the hotel if they can recommend a professional childminding service. You are a 29-year-old adult, stand up for yourself and tell him no.
Make sure your SIL knows too, because he more than likely hasn’t told her the truth, she is probably under the assumption you agreed to watch your niece.”
They Can’t Just Assume Things!
“Not the jerk, you had a trip planned that you bought for yourself and planned out. Why should you sacrifice your time and money just to not anger your entitled sibling?
You didn’t offer babysitting services, so it’s incredibly rude of them to just assume you’d provide them.
Draw a boundary here or they will continuously view you as someone to take advantage of.”
It’s Not Your Responsibility
“Not the jerk. It’s not your responsibility to babysit just because you happen to be in the same hotel. Enjoy your vacation and let your brother and SIL handle their parenting.”
Learn To Set Some Boundaries
“You can set your boundaries now, or allow resentment to evolve into hostility. Hostility will lead you down a road of no contact. Establish your boundaries, and grow a pair to hold to them. Welcome to adulthood.”
‘No’ Is A Complete Sentence
“Time to grow a spine and just say ‘No.’ Repeat as necessary. You need no reason, as ‘No’ is a complete sentence.”
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