Imagine getting injured unexpectedly. It will be painful, and that’s the last thing we ever want.
A user asked the forum, “What is the most ridiculous way you’ve ever injured yourself?” Here are the top responses.
SUPERGLUED MY MOUTH
“My ex-wife broke a nail on our wedding night. She had a tube of super glue to attempt to fix it. The lid was stuck, and she asked me if I could unscrew it. I twisted the top between my teeth, and the top came off, and the super glue exploded into my mouth.
Anything wet (like the inside of your mouth) causes superglue to adhere faster. I remember trying to un-stick my tongue from a molar at one point.”
PEEKED INTO THE MICROWAVE
“I peeked into the opening of a microwavable popcorn bag to see if enough kernels had popped and burned my eyeball. When I called my optometrist and explained what happened to the receptionist as I was making the appointment, she started laughing and then put the phone down and told her coworkers, who also started laughing.”
LEFT TISSUE IN MY EARS
“I put tissues in my ears like earplugs because my husband snores. The following day, I forgot to take it out before I showered, and the tissue expanded (I think) in my ears. I couldn’t get it out, and I had to go to urgent care to have them remove it. I felt so stupid.”
GOT HEAD-BUTTED BY A CAT
“Got head-butted by a cat. It was fun explaining a black eye at work the following day; no one believed me.”
SLIPPED ON A PIZZA
“I slipped on a pizza. I drank while cooking, dropped the pizza, and tried to catch it (spoiler alert: I failed). Stepped onto the corner of it, slipped, and woke up with a bruise from my inner elbow down to my wrist.”
CRUSHED ULNAR NERVE
“Slept on my arm weirdly, crushing my ulnar nerve. 20+ years later, I still only have partial feelings in my pinky.”
STEPPED ON A RAKE
“Stepped on a rake. It was exactly like you see on those slapstick comedy shows. I got a bloody nose. It stung.”
PULLED A MUSCLE IN MY ARM
“The first Christmas my wife and I celebrated in our new house, she asked me to hang lights outside. I wasn’t enthusiastic about heights, but I wanted my wife to be happy, so I did. After nearly eight hours up and down a ladder, checking and replacing bulbs, and getting unsolicited advice from my wife and our neighbor, I finally finished.
I slept like a rock that night, but the next morning, I woke up with a pain in my chest. My left arm was tingly. My wife wasn’t home, so being slightly scared, I drove to the hospital.
I tried to downplay the symptoms but finally admitted my chest pain to them. In a flash, I was whisked into the Emergency Room, received some unknown medication, and hooked up to many beeping machines. I thought I might die.
Luckily, after a few hours, the doctors identified my issue. I wasn’t having a heart attack but had pulled muscles in my arm and chest because I gripped the roof and ladder tightly while hanging Christmas lights. It took two years to pay off the hospital bill.”
ROLLED MY ANKLE IN SLEEP
“Sleeping. I’m not even joking. I woke up one morning and could barely put weight on my right foot; I somehow rolled my ankle in my sleep, and it was sore for a few days. Welcome to life in your 30s.”
KNOCKED A CUP INTO THE DEEP FRYER
“I knocked a cup off of the cabinet into the deep fryer. I had my shirt off because I had just got done swimming. I still have scars on my chest and stomach from the hot grease.”
CRASHED INTO A BOOKSHELF
“I once tried to impress my friends by moonwalking on a freshly waxed floor, but I ended up ‘moon-crashing’ into a bookshelf. I got real ‘Smooth moves.'”
RIPPED SOME OF MY MENISCUS
“Sitting down. I ripped some of my meniscus in my knee by simply sitting down.”
SPRAINED MY BACK
“Sprained my back taking a belly dancing exercise class. It was the day I got to wear the jangly belt, and it was just too exciting.”
TORE OFF A PART OF MY NAIL
“When I was a kid (but old enough to know better), I tried to use my finger to remove a stuck piece of pencil crayon out of a small sharpener. I did so by putting my finger inside the sharpener and turning it. Tore off a good part of my nail.”
TWISTED MY ANKLE
“I was sitting at my computer Indian style for I forgot how long, went to the bathroom, and realized my right leg was completely asleep. I decided to walk on it anyway and promptly fell over, twisting my ankle.”
CAUGHT MY FOOT ON THE COUCH
“I realized I left bacon cooking, tried to run to stop it burning, and caught my foot on the couch. My baby toe permanently stuck out until I broke it again a few years later, tripping on the stairs. Saved the bacon, though.”
RUPTURED MY ACHILLES HEEL
“Took my jeans and socks off in one motion and ruptured my Achilles heel. They couldn’t walk properly for two months or run for over three months, and it’s still not right; it has 80% movement compared to the other ankle. It happened over ten years ago.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.