Most women and men go to bars to hang out and have fun. Women might have some expectations from guys to make the bar experience more entertaining.
A user asked the forum, “What do women expect guys to do at bars?” Here are the top responses.
GIVE A PIECE OF CHEESE
“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.”
WOMEN DON’T EXPECT STRANGERS TO DO ANY SPECIFIC THINGS
“I don’t think women (or anyone) go to the bar expecting strangers to do anything specific except drink and hang out with their friends?”
BE GENUINE AND FRIENDLY
“I’m a bartender, and what I see work most often is just being genuine and friendly and not being defensive when someone’s not interested.
Women aren’t one homogenous group, so there isn’t one answer. Some women are there to be with their friends and aren’t interested in talking with a new guy for whatever reason. Some are more open to talking with new people.
Just go out and enjoy yourself. Don’t put too much importance on each interaction you have. If you hit it off, great; if she’s not interested, you move on.”
EVERYONE IS ON A DIFFERENT JOURNEY
“I don’t expect anything. People are weird, and everyone is on a different journey.
If I am at a bar, I am there to hang out with friends, have fun, and maybe people-watch. It’s not my go-to to meet new people, but occasionally, I’ve made friends with people I’ve chatted with. I don’t trust anyone who approaches me who seems like they want something from me.”
COMMENT ON SOMETHING THAT IS IN MY CONTROL
“Generally, the ones that got any real attention from me were not those who catcalled me from across the bar, bought me drinks, or immediately got all up in my personal space.
They were generally the ones who came up and commented on something that was in my control: my hair, clothes, item in my hand, a drink I was drinking, etc., as opposed to my body, and talked to me like they were interested in getting to know me.”
“I’m a bartender in a small town, and honestly, what I have seen is just free drinks and a little talk or nothing at all.”
SHOW YOUR COLORFUL PLUMAGE
“Show your colorful plumage, dance around in circles, and build a spot for the woman with a pile of recently gathered driftwood.”
PUT ON A JESTER CAP
“Put on a jester cap and your finest shoes, do a little jig, and sing a little song.”
TREAT ME LIKE ANY OTHER PERSON
“Honestly, treat me like you would any other person. I’m an alcoholic. I’m at the bar to drink.”
WOMEN AT BARS JUST WANT TO BE LEFT IN PEACE
“As a bouncer who likes observing human behaviors, I think I’m in a unique position to answer this.
Women at bars want to be left alone in peace unless that’s not what they’re into, in which case they want a man who can understand subtle clues and read between the lines unless they’re not like that.”
DON’T GROPE OR INTIMIDATE THEM
“Not to grope or intimidate them; respect and understand how their perspective differs from ours. Not to be desperate, to treat them like humans. These points helped me a lot when I was socializing myself after going to an all-boys school.
It’s always helpful to self-educate on feminism. Also, there’s so much historical context as to why men need to change their perspective in the world lately because the past was crazy for most women (general objectification of women, treating women like property, etc).
Not to hate men, the opposite, to love men, and to see why we need to care for how both men and women are being socialized. Complicated times, but history, as usual, has most of the answers. In short, respect.”
DON’T BE UGLY OR CRINGE
“Don’t be ugly. Don’t be too cringe. Then talk to them.”
DON’T PRESSURE THEM
“Don’t try to pressure me. If I like you, we’ll hit it off. Oh, and don’t try to drug me. I’ve got my drugs, and we can do them together.”
JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION
“Just have a conversation, and if she’s not interested, go away, but if she is interested, ask for her number. If you’re not sure, say, ‘Could I get your number?’ or ‘Hey, this was nice, you’re cute, let me give you my number,’ then when she says yes, exchange numbers and then go away and enjoy your night with your friends as you planned, maybe make eyes at her when you leave.
If she says no, go away and enjoy your night with your friends as planned. If you want something casual and she’s still there, tell her you’re going; if she continues the conversation and seems disappointed you’re going (without her), invite her with you. It’s not rocket science.”
BE GOOD LOOKING
“Be extremely good-looking. The rest will take care of itself.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.