People who have never gone through pain and struggles can never fully empathize with other people’s situations.
A user asked the forum, “When you told someone about a serious struggle, what response screamed ‘this person has never faced a real problem?’” Here are the top responses.
BOSS WAS UPSET I USED MY BEREAVEMENT DAYS
“I started a job about two months ago. My dad is 60 and was in the hospital dying, and I didn’t make it home because I felt like until he was on his deathbed, I’d go on weekends.
My current boss told me on the day of his funeral, “We will be happy to let you make up the days you miss for his death.” After returning to work, she hadn’t said a word to me and was upset I used my bereavement days. Currently looking for new employment.”
JUST ASK YOUR PARENTS
“‘You can’t pay for it? Just ask your parents!’ Oh, honey. I wish.”
JUST TRAVEL
“When I was in college and depressed, I spoke about it to some people at a hangout. My ex’s friend told me, ‘Just travel; it makes me feel better every time. This year, I went to Spain and Egypt.’
Yes, let’s ignore the fact I had no money for therapy, and I should have used that non-existent money to travel twice in one year.”
GO TO YOUR FRIEND’S COUNTRY HOUSE
“My girlfriend told me a story today that she had a therapist when she was 19. Whom she told she was struggling. The Therapist replied, “You must ask a friend to visit their country house this weekend. Just take a weekend off.”
My girlfriend didn’t have a friend with a country house, and the therapist looked at her like she was lying. If you’re in London and in addiction recovery, you’ll know there were a lot of quacks associated with a very famous rehabilitation in the 90s and 00s.”
A WOMAN LOOKING TO BORROW A HOUSEKEEPER THAT WE DIDN’T HAVE
“I live in a nice area, but my wife and I are average-income folks without family money. At the bus stop with my kids, another parent asked if they could borrow our housekeeper (we don’t have one) because hers was sick with COVID-19, and the dishes/laundry were starting to stack up. She was in full crisis mode.”
NO DRAMA ANYMORE
“‘I know you were close, but aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with all that drama anymore?’ My sister died this July; that was the response of someone who is now an ex-friend.
This friend had never even met my sister, has zero empathy for mental health or addiction, and truly believes we are better off without my sister.”
WE’RE ALL KIND OF TRUST FUND BABIES
“I went out to lunch with a coworker, and she mentioned her boyfriend wasn’t currently working, and I said it must be tough not to have him contributing financially to the relationship (I assumed he wasn’t if he didn’t have an income) and she goes ‘well no he does, he’s a trust fund baby so even though he is not working he has a lot of money, but we’re all kind of trust fund babies, aren’t we?’
Meanwhile, she is the first person I met who has a trust fund, and for every penny I’ve earned, I have had to work for myself since I was 16 years old.”
YOU HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH IT
“As someone with a lifelong chronic illness, I missed just two days from work, and my boss had a talk with me and said, ‘I get sick, and I still come to work. In the real world, you have to push through it.’ I was slowly dying from complications (of a now-treated disease), and she knew that. The audacity.”
YOUNG PEOPLE DON’T APPLY FOR JOBS
“My friend’s mother started working as a secretary at Comcast in the 80’s by walking in and asking if any positions were available. She eventually became ‘good friends’ with one of the founder’s sons and got access to stock benefits and bonuses, effectively making her a multi-millionaire.
When I was finishing college, I was applying for jobs and not getting any calls back and got told by her, ‘Young people don’t apply themselves enough! You need to show up early and ask for the job!’
I wanted to say not everyone had a chance to sleep with a wealthy Chief Executive Officer’s son but held back.”
DO YOU REALLY LIKE WORKING?
“I’ve had a lot of odd jobs over the years, especially in my late teens/early 20s. Most of them were just different kinds of minimum wage stuff. One year, when I was on summer break from college, I was back home working three different jobs.
I went on a few dates with a guy with a trust fund and his parent’s black American Express card. One day, we were at lunch together, and I was telling him about my employment history. Once I finished, he looked at me confused and said, ‘Do you like working?’
There was no other date after that.”
HER PARENTS DIDN’T GET THE NEWER VERSION TELEVISION
“My ex called me crying on Christmas because she asked for an Apple Television, and her parents didn’t get her the newest version.”
MENTALLY WILL OUT OF THE ILLNESSES
“I was talking to my ex about my aunt who has cancer, and she said, among several other completely out of touch and insensitive things, ”
‘You know, you can mentally will yourself out of illnesses like cancer; maybe you should tell her that.'”
FORGIVE YOUR SISTER
“Recently, my mom was asking me to forgive my sister and rebuild my relationship with her because it was important for her rehabilitation. I have been asked this numerous times in my life, so I decided to detail to my mom all of the times she tormented me and abused me.
Locking me in closets for hours on end and choking me, she held a knife against my throat, verbally abused me, and would trash my entire room and destroy my stuff. It was never serious enough or bad enough to leave a mark, so nothing happened about it for years.
The worst part was that my sister would laugh through all of it. It wasn’t an angry reaction; I was just a toy to mess with. After I detailed everything she did, my mom just said, ‘How do you think I felt knowing this was going on?'”
BEST FRIEND DID NOT WANT TO STRESS OVER ME AND MY EMOTIONS
“Back when I was in my senior year of high school, I had a series of severe traumatic events unfold within a few months, and I was a huge mess. I needed support, so I went to my then-best friend of 8 years; I told him about the assaults, the rumors people were spreading about me, and how I was having very concerning evil thoughts.
He responded that he didn’t want to stress over me and my emotions. He wanted to party and get the college experience he was promised.
He came from a wealthy family and hardly had any issues other than being gay, and I went above and beyond to defend him and support him. Yet, he couldn’t offer me a night to spend with me to make sure I’d be alive the next day.
It was awful; I don’t think you know how a person feels about you till something seriously messed up happens to you.”
YOU SHOULD HAVE PLANNED BETTER
“My son was born after eight years of infertility, but I had him at a slightly more inconvenient time of year. I talked about this, and some woman said, ‘You should have planned better.'”
INFLATION IS SO BAD SHE HAD TO BUY A BMW X3
“My friend’s aunt is rich, and I had to sit and hear her complain to her family about how inflation is so bad she had to buy a BMW X3 instead of an X5 like she originally planned.
Not a single person in the room felt terrible for her. I know a handful of rich folks, and they stay rich by setting a budget and sticking to it. I’m 100% sure that if she wanted to, she could’ve spent the extra scratch. But it was clear then that other unavoidable expenses had cut into her car budget.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.