Sometimes we fall in love and we believe the other person blindly. The biggest downside is we tend to ignore the REDFLAGS and suffer later.
A user asked the forum, “What’s the biggest red flag you ignored?”. Let’s read the top replies.
NOT READY TO START A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP
“I’m not in a good place to be in a relationship.” Yeah, I probably should have listened to that one.”
“He never apologized for anything. Even stuff that was 100% his fault. But I would have to apologize for everything, even stuff out of my control.”
“When conversations and meet-ups are always initiated by you and never by them. One-sided relationships suck.”
NOT INTRODUCING TO FRIENDS AND FAMILIES
“When the person I was seeing would never introduce me to their friends or family.”
“Blaming me for things that I had no effect on. She got a bad grade on a quiz because I helped her study. Blamed me for her dropping her laptop because I was in another room doing my own thing and couldn’t hear what she was saying, so she had to get up off the couch, which led to the dropping of the laptop.
Blamed me for her not being prepared for a presentation at work because I had a work event instead of “being there for her” which always meant just sitting there on the couch next to her while she put it together.
Blamed me for her backing into a pole in a parking lot because I didn’t pick her up from work, but I decided we’d meet at a restaurant. So many more; nothing was ever her fault.”
It’s a dangerous red flag because it’s easily overlooked. Physical thing is a huge red flag, but it’s very apparent.
However, you can go a long time in a relationship without realizing that your partner is doing things to are seemingly innocent just to manipulate you.
Sometimes it’s not even intentional, but it has a significant effect on you in the long run, and its danger is somewhat the result of how unnoticeable it is.”
NOT CLEANING PLATES
“When my ex left his plate on the table after eating and told me it’s because his mom used to clean up his plates/silverware after dinner for him.”
“I was with this woman for three years, and one day we were talking about buying a house, and she said, “We can get a dog too!” I enthusiastically agreed, then said, “And a cat, too!”.
She turned and gave me a filthy look and said while looking directly into my eyes, “I am never getting a cat. I HATE them.”
She said the word “hate” with such vitriol (while knowing I love cats) that it genuinely shook me. Who hates small cute furry animals that much?
Noped out soon after.”
“She hit me. I chalked it up to her going through a lot and not having anyone to talk to about it. She hit me maybe 2-3 times at the beginning of our relationship. For a while, I wasn’t physically assaulted.
About 7.5 years later, I ended up having to call the cops cause she attacked me again and threw a glass cup at me, breaking a window.
Never make excuses for someone hurting you. They don’t have a valid reason to do it, and you should run for the hills. If I had left at that first incident, we wouldn’t have become so attached, and I wouldn’t have had to deal with infidelity again.”
NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
“Not having the ability to take responsibility for themselves and their bad behavior, not having the ability to properly apologize. Instead, they would blame others and makeup excuses.”
“Alcoholism. It never goes away. It waits until you’re comfortable again.”
BURNING BRIDGES WITH FRIENDS
“She had 0 friends because she burned bridges with literally all of them.”
“I ignored the victim complex multiple times by the same and different people.”
DISTANCING WITH FRIENDS
“Days before we started dating, he told me to stop talking to my two best guy friends. That alone could have saved me a whole year of dating, let alone every time we saw each other; he’d check my Snapchat.”
“Lying. If someone is comfortable lying to other people, chances are they’re lying to you as well.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.