The complexities and uncertainties of modern dating culture have left many individuals feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied, leading to a cycle of poor choices and unfulfilled relationships.
A user asked the forum, “What do you think is the true killer of modern dating?”. Here are the top responses.
LACK OF COMMUNITY
“A lot of commenters are saying “dating apps,” but I think that misses the mark. The true culprit is the loss of community and, as someone else mentioned, the Third Place. We wouldn’t need dating apps if people were still able to meet organically as much as we used to.
Thanks for the platinum, kind stranger!”
COMMITMENT ISSUES
“The true killer of modern dating is the paradox of choice, where endless options often lead to indecision and commitment issues.”
LACK OF MYSTIQUE
“Call me old fashioned, but it’s the complete lack of mystique IMO. Part of the fun of dating pre-internet was learning about a person and getting to know them through conversation and shared experience.
We are more connected than ever before, but there is a loneliness epidemic happening. It all seems so cheap and seedy nowadays.”
NOT TREATING THEM LIKE ACTUAL HUMANS
“The gamification of swiping left or right on hundreds of profiles based on 2 second first impressions, typing one-word messages, and then ghosting them or unmatching because you’re bored.
Not treating them like actual humans. There’s always a new profile to move onto. I say this as someone who literally met their current spouse on Tinder, but online dating apps are (for the most part) very demoralizing. I couldn’t wait to get off the app and meet up in person to have a real human connection.”
WORK-LIFE BALANCE IS DEAD
“We’re tired, boss. Just plain worn out, burnt out, run-down, and tired. Work-life balance is dead; society is mentally draining, and literally everything worth making costs money.
When the hell are you supposed to meet that person when you get home from work and immediately go to bed so you can be up at 4:30 to do it again tomorrow?”
SOCIAL MEDIA
“Social media. Especially Instagram and Snapchat.”
BEAUTY STANDARDS
“THE BEAUTY STANDARD. Also, not being able to meet people organically.”
DATING APPS
“Dating apps.
Instant gratification for some, hopelessness for the majority. When most of your age group finds dates via apps, and you’re not one of the lucky 5%, you’re just stuck floundering. But for the ones getting instant gratification, they never feel like they have to work for it and just see relationships as disposable flings they get with their best offerings.”
EGO
“I would say egos, and people that think they have a high perceived value to the point they feel like others should bend over backward to be in their presence.”
ESCAPISM
“I mean, life in general. But getting more specific, I’d say escapism. Social media, gaming, drugs and alcohol. It’s all a way to escape reality, and while it feels good at the moment, it takes you away from the process of growing as a person and growing with another person.
It causes resentment, contempt, and insecurities and has shifted the point of partnership from PARTNERSHIP to access. We’re all traumatized, and we’re all running from something.”
ACCESSIBILITY
“Accessibility. It’s too easy to download an app and be exposed to a variety of people. It leads to people always looking for the next best thing, never truly learning to appreciate someone.”
POOR COMMUNICATION
“Poor communication, poor social skills, and the surprisingly prevalent inability to read the room, pick up social cues, and act with tact.
Like, stupid people. The bar is so low, and you’re still not hitting it!”
WANT A PERFECT PARTNER WITH PERFECT AESTHETICS
“I’ve noticed a pretty significant increase of guys/gals who demand a partner who works out five times a week, eats exclusively clean, has sub 15% body fat, and is a pinnacle of aesthetics while sitting on their butt all day eating junk because “They know what they’re worth” and refuse to settle for anything less.”
THE ECONOMY
“The economy. Everybody is working hard and can’t afford to take care of themselves, so our physical and mental health is in the toilet, and we don’t have the drive to actually date and enjoy ourselves.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.