The repercussions of seemingly insignificant actions can often go unnoticed, causing subtle yet detrimental effects on a relationship. Only in hindsight do we fully grasp the extent of our actions’ consequences.

An internet user asked, What do you think is the biggest mistake people make in relationships? We couldn’t agree more with the responses below:

Taking Things For Granted 

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“I think it’s a combination of getting so comfortable with somebody that you take things for granted, stop doing the little things, and stop communicating.” Said one. 

“100% agree. I’ve been with the love of my life for over ten years, and we find ourselves getting a bit complacent sometimes. We both go through bouts of depression when things get terrible. But we always try to find something new to do to help us change things up and keep it spicy.” Another added. 

Not Discussing Marriage and Kids Sooner 

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“Waiting until you’re too far in to discuss marriage and kids. That issue needs to be hammered out before you completely shut yourself off from anyone else.” Said one. 

“I feel like this is something that a lot of people miss. It’s different if you’re just casually dating, but if you want to be in a long-term relationship with someone, then kids/marriage is such a big thing. If one person wants kids but the other doesn’t then the relationship is doomed to fail in the long run.” Another added. 

Lack Of Willingness To Understand Or Compromise 

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“So many people jump straight to “lack of communication” but more often than not the problem is refusing to accept what your partner is communicating. Communication skills can always be better, but a lack of understanding or willingness to compromise around the difference in each other’s needs leads to resentment really quickly. Once you resent each other it’s game over, there’s no real way to come back from that.”

Not Being Friends First

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“When  your partner is not being your friend too.” Said one. 

“Back when we were dating, my wife once told me that I was her boyfriend but also her friend. I found that odd. Then she pointed out that her ex had never had the potential to be her friend. They didn’t match. Since then, I realize how important this is.” Another added 

Compromising In The Beginning Only To Resent Later

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“Compromising when they started the relationship and then regret sets in and destroys the relationship.”  Said one. 

“Resentments are like mold; they grow in the dark and die in the light.” Another added. 

Trying To “Win” Arguments

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“Trying to “win” arguments. The goal should be to solve disagreements as a team and not come out as the victor.” Said one. 

“It’s you and your partner vs the problem/argument, not you vs your partner.” Another added. 

Not Leaving When It’s Supposed To Be Ended

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“Not leaving/ending a relationship when it needs to be ended. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.” Said one. 

“Honor the expiration date!” Another added.

Not Being Able To Apologize

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“Not being able to apologize. if someone tells you they’re upset with you, you don’t need to argue back.” Said one. 

“Exactly. Don’t argue about why something shouldn’t have hurt someone, rather, try to understand why it did.” Another added 

Thinking That It’s One Person’s Work

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“Thinking that it’s one person’s work. A successful relationship needs commitment and work from both parties.” Said one. 

“I find that as the woman, I’m usually carrying the emotional load and it’s damn exhausting. Talking about feelings, initiating tough conversations, etc. Won’t do it anymore.” Another added 

Believing That Having A Child Will Fix Their Problems

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“Great job, now the THREE of you are in a sucky situation and now are forever tied through a choice you both made instead of just working it out OR separating, both options that would’ve been a lot less messy and complicated, not to mention that the kid is now stuck between something that’s not their responsibility to fix and now they’re suffering through it.

“compromising” on big life decisions, it never ends well.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.

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