If someone doesn’t explicitly say yes, it should be regarded as a no unless they clarify otherwise.

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for yelling at my sister for sharing my pregnancy news without asking me first?”. Here’s the whole story for your context:


Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

The Original Poster (OP) (28F) is ten weeks pregnant with her first child. OP and her husband have been together a long time; they are high school sweethearts, so this is a fascinating time. 

“We’ve shared this news with our close friends and family only so far and are waiting until I’m a bit further along to share the news more widely,” says OP. 


Image Credits: Deposit Photos

This weekend, OP’s sister (32F) informed OP that she had told her ex-boyfriend that OP was pregnant. 

“I know at first that doesn’t sound like a big deal; however, she and her ex were together for many years, and my husband and I are close with him. He is like a brother to us. When we were ready, we planned to tell him the news over dinner in a few weeks. My sister and her ex are no longer close and rarely talk”, says OP. 


Pregnant woman suffering with nausea in morning
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

When OP’s sister told her this, she (OP) expressed how upset she was and how it was not her sister’s news to share. 

“I was upset, so I ended the conversation and called her the following day, hoping we could make amends,” says OP. 


Young couple sitting on the sofa discussing at home.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

However, things escalated, and OP’s sister told OP it doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal, and she doesn’t understand why OP cares so much. 

“She said we’ve told many other friends, so why does it matter? I again explained to her it is not her news to share, and we had planned to tell him in person”, says OP. 


sisters fighting
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

Even OP’s mom called OP and asked if she could tell her best friend before doing it. The conversation eventually heated to the point where the sisters yelled at each other, and OP called her sister selfish.


Portrait of a dissatisfied girl standing isolated over yellow background, gesturing
Image Credit; Deposit Photos

OP and her sister are close, so OP feels disappointed that her sister betrayed her trust and went against her wishes. In addition, had she just said, “I’m sorry, I messed up, I shouldn’t have done that, and it won’t happen again.”, OP would be able to move on. 


Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

“But her reaction and unwillingness to take accountability and empathize with what I’m going through is what is not sitting right with me. So, am I a jerk for yelling at my sister over this?” asks OP. 


Photo of funny young guy shrug shoulders wearing green t-shirt dissatisfied misunderstanding dude chill isolated on violet background.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk, not her news to share. Also, ten weeks is quite early on. If you were further along, she might share it without asking. Also, I was super eager to share that news when I was pregnant because I was so happy about it. If your sister and her ex were married, she would share if, but you mention they hardly speak.”


Frustrated and angry woman screaming. Studio shot.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk, early pregnancy is widely understood to be news the parents get to share, and your sister was defensive to boot. It makes sense you’d be annoyed.”


young pretty woman feeling stupefied and scared, fearing something frightening, with hands open up front saying stay away
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Never share someone’s pregnancy news unless they’ve given you the green light.”


Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. It would have been good to ask your sister not to share it. That gives her a bit of leeway for telling her ex.”


Young beautiful redhead woman wearing casual sweater over isolated pink background clueless and confused with open arms, no idea concept.
Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. It’s your pregnancy and your news to share. But have you told your sister not to tell anyone? I know this is obvious for most people, but for others, you have to clarify.”

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