Occasionally, employing strategic thinking can help you navigate challenging situations, ensuring that you’re not exploited or coerced into something against your will.

An internet user asked,  “Am I a jerk for ‘losing’ my passport to avoid babysitting on my vacation?.” Here’s the full story for your context. 

Backstory

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The Original Poster (OP) (F17) still lives at home. Her sister (28) is married and has two kids (5/3). Whenever she comes over to visit OP’s parents, she sticks OP with the kids. 

What Does OP Say

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OP says, “This wouldn’t be a problem, except she doesn’t visit for an evening. She will come for a week. And for that week I’m an unpaid nanny.” 

If they go out to a restaurant, OP has to entertain them because OP’s mom needs to talk to her sister and BIL.  “You get the picture.”, says OP. 

The Disneyland Trip

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OP’s parents decided that since this was OP’s last summer before she became an adult, they would be going to Disneyland to celebrate OP’s graduation. 

OP asked who was going, and they said it was just the three of them. 

What Happened When They Got To The Airport?

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But when they got to the airport, OP’s sister and her family were there. Strangely enough, they were also going to Disneyland. 

OP picked her backpack grabbed her passport, and put it in her sock. 

OP’s Passport Goes Missing?

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When they got to international security, OP couldn’t find it. They looked everywhere. OP had to Uber home, and she missed her flight. 

OP says, “Oh well. I get to stay home by myself for a week of peace and quiet.”

Everybody’s Reaction 

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OP’s parents were very mad at her for losing her passport. The money they spent on OP’s flight and entrance was wasted. Darn. 

OP’s mom and sister have both been posting about how hard it is to be at Disneyland with two little ones. They both posted that OP ruined the vacation by being so thoughtless. 

OP And Her Dad’s Thoughts 

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OP’s dad says he knows why she did that, and he understands. But he says OP should have let him know so he didn’t waste money. He said he would have gone along with OP’s ruse. 

OP says, “I feel bad about wasting money, but I have been to Disneyland before. And I will go again later by myself or with friends.”

Try Doing This 

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“Not the jerk. But if they posted on social media, say ‘Wait. I ruined the vacation because I was supposed to help with the kids or take care of them myself. So this wasn’t about me?’.” 

Your Dad Must Take A Stand For You

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“Not the jerk. But if your dad figured out what you did and understands why, he should advocate for you and tell your mom & sister that your function on earth is not to serve as your sister’s babysitter and that you are done babysitting and to ask you to anymore.” 

Was This Even Your Idea Or Was It Just An Evil Strategy?

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“Was going to Disneyland for *your* Graduation, even your idea? Or was it some kind of way for your sister to take her kids when she could have free babysitting? 

I’m honestly really disgusted by the way people take advantage of others, especially girls and women, for free babysitting.” 

The Next Time She Comes, Just Go Hide

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“Next time dear old sis shows up on your doorstep, have a bag packed and ready to go and see if you can go to a friend’s or family member’s house while she’s there.

If that isn’t possible, lock yourself in your room and only come out to use the restroom and eat then immediately lock yourself back in…they’ll get the hint…” 

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