What would you do if your partner insists on making your child sit in a different class than yours while all of you are flying on a family trip?

An internet user asked, “Will I be a jerk if I left my child in economy while we flew in business class?”. Here’s the full story for your context.


Couple fighting in front of child.
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The Original Poster (OP) (33F) and her boyfriend (40M) have been together for five years and are trying to organize their next holiday. He’s settled on a destination and is so excited at the idea of a family trip.

The Planning As Of Yet

Young beautiful caucasian girl holding paper plane and city map smiling with a happy and cool smile on face. showing teeth.
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OP and her boyfriend are looking at flights that will likely be at least 9 hours long with business class flights, resort stay, and plenty of experiences.

“He makes significantly more than me but we will split the cost of the holiday 50/50 including my child’s costs.”, says OP.

What’s The Problem?

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The problem is OP’s boyfriend does not want to let her child (13) go to the same class on the plane as them.

He thinks that OP’s child should be grateful to be getting an international trip and just enjoy the movies and whatever other amenities there are on the flight. He says the child can pop up and visit them whenever in business class and that it’s not worth the extra cost, even if he were a millionaire.

OP’s Concern

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OP feels like it’s weird to sit apart from her child for a 9+ hour flight, even if they’re comfortable enough on a plane and OP would probably prefer to downgrade her flight if her boyfriend is unwilling to split that specific cost.

He thinks OP is being weird for wanting to make that concession and it’s not a big deal for a child to fly alone.

“So, will I be a jerk or am I being a helicopter and stressing over something silly?”, asks OP.

Some More Context

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OP later edited the post and added the following information:

“Just as a further explanation for why he’s against it. He has a view that children might not appreciate the value of business class and that his parents went on business class while he flew economy on his own.

He absolutely wants to enjoy the business class for himself for the long haul on a nice plane. He’s fine with me sitting in the economy also or bumping up my child at my own cost. Even though he disagrees morally and thinks I’m being kind of silly, he would accept it.

He has spent plenty of money and time on my child, for birthdays, events and milestones. They get along well and have had very few upsets. Every now and then I’ve had to stick up for one or the other but I feel like that’s to be expected with blended families.”

You Will Certainly Be The Jerk

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“You will be the jerk if you travel in a different class from your child. Yes, a 13-year-old can travel in a different class fine. Heck, they could travel alone. But there’s just something unsettling about a parent being on the same flight but in a different seat class.

Does your boyfriend normally disrespect your child?”

This Is Not It!

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“You’re the jerk. While I’m all for letting children earn their privileges because that gives them a sense of accomplishment and teaches them to make decisions early on, this ain’t it chief.

That’s like going on a family trip by car but letting your kid ride the bus instead because he won’t be able to appreciate the leather seats on my Mercedes.”

Boyfriend’s Request Is Perfectly Reasonable

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“Will get downvoted for this, but I think the boyfriend’s request is perfectly reasonable. Kids don’t appreciate these kinds of things enough. All the people assuming your boyfriend doesn’t like your kid are terminally online.

Maybe just give the kid some kind of consolation? A really nice dinner or a new videogame/thing he likes instead? Knowing myself at 13, I would take that over a (way more expensive) temporary comfort anytime.”

Better Reconsider Your Relationship

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“If this is how your boyfriend is going to treat your kid, you’d better reconsider your relationship. It’s not going to be just a business class flight ticket that’s going to be the problem.”

He’s Being A Baby

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“He’s being a baby. You can all ride economy, he could even buy an extra seat so you have more room or at least all 3 would be together.

It’s weird that he is fine sitting there on his own for a bit more legroom.

It also sounds to me like he might stand to learn a bit from his own words. I think he has grown a bit too accustomed to his business class and it could do him good to take a step back for a trip. Kick it in economy with his family instead of sitting alone like a spoiled weirdo.”

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