Whether you’re with a partner or a stranger, it’s never okay to embarrass someone with their silly habits. Doing so only causes unnecessary arguments and can damage the relationship. A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for putting an outside lock on my bathroom to prevent my wife from using it?”
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (31M) and his wife (25F) bought a house together about six months ago.
He says that this is their first time living together. Their house is an old American house that has been renovated many times.
SILLY BATHROOM LAYOUT
As a consequence of this, it has a silly layout where there are two bathrooms right next to each other that share the same wall.
AGREEMENT
When they pulled the trigger on buying it, they made an agreement that he would take the bathroom on the left with the shower, and she’d take the bathroom on the right with a bathtub.
He says that his wife’s space is much more spacious than his.
HIS WIFE’S BEHAVIOR
He soon learned, though, that his wife preferred to use his bathroom but only to defecate.
He says that his wife would go pee or take a bath or do her makeup in her bathroom, but when the time comes to have a bowel movement, she only wants to use his toilet.
THE REAL ISSUE
He says that he usually wouldn’t mind that, but the issue is that she sits very far forward on the seat, which leaves streaks in the bowl virtually every time his wife uses it.
WHAT DID OP DO?
He first civilly approached this by asking why his wife used his bathroom.
WHAT DID HIS WIFE TELL?
She gave him a vague answer about preferring it. Then he asked his wife if she could at least sit back a bit more.
She said it was none of his concern how she sat on the toilet.
WHAT DID OP DO TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM?
He says he even offered to change bathrooms with her but she refused.
Then he asked his wife to stop using it, and she said it was her house, too, so she should be allowed to go wherever she wanted.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
He says he was tired of opening the toilet lid to see his wife’s stool stuck to the bowl.
WHAT DID OP DO?
The day before yesterday, he installed a lock on the door that he could open with a key. He says that his wife initially didn’t seem to take the hint.
WHAT WAS HIS WIFE’S REACTION?
She asked him for a key to the bathroom which he refused to share.
SHE STARTED TO PANIC
He says that as his wife had to go, she started to panic and repeatedly asked him to open it.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
He told his wife she had a perfectly good toilet in her bathroom.
WHAT WAS HIS WIFE’S REACTION?
His wife finally relented but came out of the bathroom extremely upset with him.
DEMANDING
He says that his wife has been ticked off and demanding that he remove the lock since. He asks if he is a jerk.
IT IS NOT GOING TO BE AN HEALTHY MARRIAGE
“She is using your bathroom to poop in because she doesn’t want the mess/smell in her bathroom. You’ve talked with her about it, and she won’t be reasonable. So, sure, put a lock on the outside.
I don’t understand why you guys have bathrooms, but whatever.
That being said, this doesn’t sound like it will be a good marriage if you can’t even work out these arrangements.”
IT IS SO BIZARRE
“How utterly bizarre, both her insistence on using ‘your’ toilet and her apparent refusal to clean up after herself.”
SHE IS ENTITLED
“Wow.. that’s not gonna last.. she doesn’t want to clean the toilet. She doesn’t want to get her toilet dirty.
You can’t cope with that (I wouldn’t either). Man, don’t be mad at me, but I think she’s an entitled and selfish woman. Run as quick as you can.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.