While talking to your partner about your day is important, understanding their situation and mental state is equally crucial.
The Original Poster (OP) took it to the forum, and asked “Am I wrong for not wanting to listen to my husband’s recap his day?”. We want to know from you.
BACKSTORY
The OP and her husband are both in their early 30s. OP’s husband is a surgeon! They also have a one year old child.
OP’s husband has a habit of recapping his day and he keeps talking about it to OP.
HER OBJECTION
OP doesn’t like to hear about work all the time, especially when she herself is drained out after coming home from work.
She doesn’t like to hear him explaining all the details of his day to her while she has to deal with their one-year-old baby after coming home from work.
LETTING HIM KNOW
OP let her husband know about it and told him not to get too technical while talking about his day.
HE FORGETS AT TIMES
After OP let him know her concerns, OP’s husband tried to keep it short.
But sometimes, he used to forget all about it and continued talking about his day and random technical stuff for more than 30 minutes.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
One day OP got fed up and told her husband to stop talking about surgery.
HIS REACTION
After this argument, OP’s husband told her that he doesn’t feel supported at all and feels like he can’t talk to her!
WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK?
“OP also works in medicine (OR as well). They both want to destress in different ways. It would definitely be exhausting to ‘take your work home.’
Maybe allocate a short time for shop talk (i.e., 30 mins) and then agree with no more for the night and talk about something else positive going on in your lives.”, said one user.
ASK HIM TO TALK TO THE KID
“I think the perfect compromise is that he takes care of the one year old as soon as he gets home, and tells him about his day.
Mom gets to avoid the shop talk, Dad gets to de-stress the way he likes, and the kiddo gets time with dad. Win-win.”, said another user.
THAT ISN’T EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION
“It doesn’t sound as if he is talking to her, he is talking at her. She clarifies that he dictates his day as basically a lecture. That isn’t effective relationship communication.”
IT’S NOT A CONVERSATION
“It’s not a conversation. It isn’t them talking together. It’s a soliloquy and a lecture.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.