Student loan debt is a significant financial burden for millions of Americans. It is the second-largest type of consumer debt in the United States after mortgages. Student loan debt can significantly impact borrowers’ finances, delaying or preventing them from buying a home, starting a business, or saving for retirement.
A user asked, Will I be a jerk if I began a doctoral program against my fiance’s wishes?
The Original Poster (33F) and her fiance (35m) have been engaged for about two years.
Recently, OP has been pushing him about a date, and he has been insistent that they should get their finances in order first- to him meaning debt free, including the wedding. (Of course, he is willing to take as much money as OP’s Dad will give for it)
The background is right after the lockdowns, he got really into financial tiktok/Dave Ramsey blah blah blah and insisted they both become debt free.
They agreed, but he took it super seriously- selling everything (people were worried about him) and getting a second full-time job. To his credit, he paid off about 60k in a year.
What Did OP Do
Meanwhile, OP has been finishing her 2nd master’s and has been accepted into the Ph.D. program.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “I also want to enjoy my early 30s by attending events and going on trips with our friends. Currently, between student loans (125k), my car (25k), and credit cards (about 10k), I am in some pretty high debt but anticipate my salary to be around 200k in 3 years or double what he is currently bringing home.”
What Did He Do
When OP told him OP was accepted to the doctoral programs, he lost it. He said a ton of hurtful things about OP not growing up.
What Does OP Think
OP says, “I feel like he is not supporting my dreams and may just have a problem with the fact I will have a Ph.D. while he has a master’s. I also think political differences are becoming more apparent. (he says things like, “You’re dumb for waiting for student loan forgiveness”)
I feel like he is trying to hold me back from my dreams. Will I be wrong for not following his advice? ”
You’re NOT Financial Compatible
You Are A Jerk If You Want Support
“It’s you are a jerk if she’s planning on him financially supporting her for the three years while she does her PhD.
This woman owes $160,000 and wants to add to it.. she wants student loan forgiveness but is about to take out even more student loans.. because someone with that much debt doesn’t have the money laying around to self-finance the PhD..
She wants to make a financial decision with his wallet against his wishes. That’s called being a jerk.’
You Guys Aren’t Compatible
You Have Two Masters
You Should Get A Job
‘You are a jerk – You sound naive at best. Oh I’ll pay off my 160K in debt because of student loan forgiveness and landing some mysterious 200K job, and a PhD will only take 3 years….sure Jan.
You expect your fiancé to be okay with you lighting more money on fire without a concrete plan to pay it off and your asking if you’re a jerk? Girl get real, you know you’re in the wrong!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.