As a parent, you want to give your child the best of everything. But sometimes, this can be difficult, especially if you are struggling financially. A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk telling my ex to stop giving my daughter lunch money?
The original poster has a daughter, Emily, with her ex. OP says that her daughter chose to live with her ex and his wife and kids most of the time because she had to share her room with her step-sister Laura at her house.
OP’s ex gives Emily $25 a week to buy lunch.
WHAT DOES OP SAY
OP says that Emily’s and Laura’s school is down the street from many restaurants, so instead of buying school lunches, she leaves campus to buy herself and her friend lunch.
SHE DOESN’T GET ANYTHING FOR LAURA
The problem is Emily sees Laura at school and won’t get her anything even though she gets her friend’s lunch all the time.
OP talked to Emily about it, and she said it’s because her friends pay her back and Laura can’t. OP says that Emily knows we can’t afford to give Laura that kind of money, and OP knows she works part-time and gets an extra allowance from her dad.
ASKING HER TO BUY FOOD FOR LAURA OCCASIONALLY
So, OP asked Emily to buy Laura lunch to make her feel better occasionally. But Emily refused.
OP called her dad and hoped that, as a parent, he understood what OP was trying to do, but he said Laura’s feelings are not his or Emily’s responsibility and that if she wants to buy lunch off campus, she should get a part-time job like Emily.
LAURA HAD ADHD
But OP tried to explain that Laura was in sports and she has ADHD and depression, so it would be hard for her to work, but OP’s ex said that’s OP and OP’s husband’s problem and asked them to hang up.
SHE CAME BACK CRYING
OP says that Laura came home crying the other day because Emily returned with food from her favorite restaurant and didn’t give her anything or offer to share.
STOP GIVING MONEY TO EMILY
So OP called her ex and told him he needed to stop giving Emily lunch money and have her make her lunches because she was hurting Laura.
But he refused to listen to OP and told Emily that OP was telling him not to let her go out at lunch.
EMILY STOPPED TALKING
Emily hadn’t spoken to OP except to say that she would stay at her dad’s full-time for a while.
SHE CAN WORK
“I’m sorry, but as someone with ADHD, Depression, BPD, AND PTSD, that’s a bad excuse. I’m functioning just fine at 22 years old AND working in prison. Your stepdaughter can get a part-time job if she wants to be buying lunch off campus.”
IT IS NOT FAIR
“What is it with all these parents who think that kids need to do for other kids…if Laura wasn’t your step daughter, you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t even know, so why is Laura pitching a fit suddenly your daughter’s issue…oh that’s right it’s not it’s you and your husband’s issue.”
IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
“It’s absolutely none of your business what your ex gives and doesn’t give your daughter. Laura is your business; try building her up instead of enabling her victim mentality.”
IT IS NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS
“Are you even listening to yourself right now? I see why she’s living with your ex…
Your child’s happiness is YOUR Responsibility. Why should someone else need to stop giving a child lunch money because your spawn is unhappy? That is not how the world works.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.