Is planning revenge on someone who’s been ridiculous to you on “their funeral” a good idea?
An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for wanting to keep my siblings in the dark until my father’s funeral?”. Let us know what you think in the comments section!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (20f) has four siblings on her father’s side. OP’s father (77m) was married to Maria when he was younger and had three children with her.
A FEW YEARS LATER
After a few years, OP’s father and his wife(Maria) decided to get a divorce. It was amicable for the kids’ sake, but OP’s father still greatly loved his ex-wife.
A while later, OP’s father dated this other woman, Ana, and ended up having a son with her, Leo. Their relationship didn’t last long, and OP’s father chose to wait until Leo was a bit older to introduce him to his other kids.
“He did so when Leo was 6, but his kids didn’t take it very well.”, says OP.
WAS OP’S BIRTH AN ACCIDENT?
OP’s mother met OP’s father a while later. They dated, and she fell head over heels for him. He broke things off with her, claiming to love Maria still and saying he wanted to try again.
A few weeks later, he called OP’s mom, saying he missed her and wanted to see her. OP was the result. He didn’t believe OP was his kid. He wanted her to get a Deoxyribo Nucleic Acid (DNA) test and said OP’s mother was lying.
SEE YOU IN THE COURT
She (OP) was born, and they did the test, and it came back positive. Even then, he never tried to approach or meet OP’s mother. OP’s mother insisted that he give OP his last name, and he kept refusing to do so, so she took him to court.
“It was a very messy thing. He lied several times, said she tried to baby trap him even though he was the one to approach her, lied about how much he paid for child support for his other kids, turned down visitation rights, etc,” says OP.
MORE SECRETS REVEALED
OP says she never really missed having a dad. She has a great mother who always gave her love and affection. OP asked about him, and her mom was always candid, saying that she contacted him and asked him to meet OP, but he refused.
“I was a bit sad, but what hurt me was not knowing my siblings. I asked my mother if I could at least meet them, and that’s how I found out that my father had never told them about me. My mother said that he and Maria got back together, and he said that Maria didn’t want the kids to know.”, says OP.
WHEN OP TURNED EIGHTEEN
When OP turned 18, her mom said that she had found her siblings’ Facebook accounts and that they could send them messages explaining the situation.
“I honestly don’t crave a relationship with my siblings anymore, so I chose not to.”, says OP.
THE FANTASY REVENGE
She explained to her mom that she wanted to wait until her father died and show up in style at his funeral, preferably wearing a black dress with heels, giant sunglasses, and a hat.
“I feel like the people that admire him should know how he is. Also, even if he doesn’t put me on his will, as one of his children, by law, I have to appear at the hearing anyway.”, says OP.
OP’S THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW
“Maybe I’m a jerk for wanting to do that to people who love him and are mourning him, and I feel bad about that, but I feel like his name should be dragged through the mud for what he did, and the only way to do that would be in a place where everyone in his life is gathered, and they can’t manipulate the events through the grapevine of gossip.
So am I a jerk for wanting to expose my father at his funeral?” asks OP.
KEEP THIS AS A FANTASY ONLY
“You’re the jerk. He will be dead. You’d be hurting innocent people grieving their father, who have never harmed you and don’t even know about you. Keep this as a fantasy.”
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
“Everyone’s in the wrong. While I sympathize with you for being able to receive your father’s love, why would you do that?
As you said, you never missed having a father; while I understand wanting to expose him for the person he is, how could you think that a funeral, his funeral, would be the right place to do it?”
YOU ARE BEING VERY PETTY
“You are very petty. If you did that at his funeral, you are not hurting your dad because he is already dead. Instead, you are hurting his children. An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.”
STABBING INNOCENT BYSTANDERS IS NOT DONE
“You wanted to stick it to him. But all you’re doing is stabbing innocent bystanders. The funeral isn’t for him. It’s for the people grieving.
Please don’t make it about you because you want a production of dragging his name through the mud. You need to say something now while he’s still alive.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.