Despite his sister’s aversion to babies, he found himself in the unenviable position of asking her for help. A user asked the forum, Am I a jerk for calling my sister a bad, selfish person because she refused to look after my son for just a few hours?
BACK STORY
The original poster (OP) and his wife welcomed their first child about ten months ago. OP says that the baby’s paternal grandparents (my parents) live several states away. Still, his baby has two maternal aunts and uncles (their husbands) by marriage as well as a set of maternal grandparents.
OP also says that his baby has his sister as an aunt. OP says that his sister was a rebel who swears that she’ll never get married or have kids, and she also claimed not to even like kids.
SHE VISITED HIS SON
OP says that when his son was born, he remembered his sister coming to visit him in the hospital, which actually somewhat surprised him, but when she saw her nephew, she said that she doesn’t like kids, but she said that he’s so cute that he’s an exception.
FAVORITE KID
OP’s sister also added that he’s officially her favorite kid. But also reminded OP not to ask her to babysit.
OP says he would never have dreamed of asking her since his son had two willing grandparents and two willing aunts.
UNEXPECTED HAPPENED
But recently, the perfect storm happened for them. OP says that his wife works in a jail and was also considered an essential employee.
This means they can order her into work if they’re short, and she has no right to refuse, no matter what happens.
IS IT OFTEN
OP says it doesn’t come up often, but when it does, it does. She says he works as an event hall’s kitchen manager/head chef.
OP had a huge event that he couldn’t miss on a day last week when his wife got ordered into work. OP planned that if that happened, they could have one of his wife’s sisters or parents watch their son.
SHE REFUSED
OP says that, unfortunately, they are all out of town together that day, so OP had no choice but to ask his sister to watch her nephew for a few hours until one or both of them could get away from their jobs. But OP’s sister refused.
OP begged and pleaded with her, but she just wouldn’t do it, reminding them both that she told them that she said she would never babysit and that their emergency wasn’t her problem.
HIS WIFE GOT A WRITTEN REPRIMAND
Finally, OP’s wife told her employer she couldn’t come in. OP’s wife ended with her being receiving a written reprimand.
OP CALLED HIS SISTER SELFISH
OP went off to his sister and told her she was selfish and amoral. In the end, OP’s sister said that she doesn’t owe him or his wife anything just because they are related.
OP told her that this was a horrible attitude, that she should have a better sense of loyalty to her family just because that’s the right thing to do, whether she’d ever agreed to anything or not.
IT IS HER CHOICE
“Let’s dissect calling her a rebel because she has chosen not to have children and stay single. That’s no rebelling. That’s having the freedom to choose. That’s self-care. We have fought long and hard to have these choices.”
YOU MUST HAVE PLANNED PRIORLY
“Yup, You are the jerk, OP, for not having any backup childcare that isn’t unpaid and for not planning for this contingency. You knew you had a big event, you knew your wife could get called in to work, you knew your relatives were away or could be unavailable, you knew your sister was not an option, and yet you still didn’t have a backup babysitter?
She’s right. Your poor planning doesn’t constitute her emergency. She made it clear from day 1 – she is not willing to be on your “emergency babysitting” list – there’s no way you have the right to push this back on her.”
HIRE A BABYSITTER
“Your sister isn’t a ‘rebel’ or ‘amoral.’ She just has a different, albeit sensible, way of life. Hire a babysitter.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.