Lunch is a great time to catch up with friends, family, and colleagues. But what if you’re bringing your relative to lunch? It can be a bit nerve-wracking, wondering what to talk about and how to make sure everyone has a good time.
A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for bringing my nephew to lunch with me? We want to hear your views.
A few months back, OP’s SIL was t-boned at the light. The person didn’t even break and hit the side of the car, going fast. Worse, she was still a new mom of a month.
What About Her
Her injuries are awful and included a broken pelvis right after a c-section. Her boyfriend bailed on her and the new baby. So OP’s husband, with his parents have become full-time caregivers.
OP often has her nephew with her and acts as the primary mother role. Her whole family knows this.
The Birthday Party
OP’s sister had a birthday party at a restaurant and she brought her nephew. He wasn’t bad or anything but OP’s sister was mad that she brought a baby to her birthday dinner.
What Did OP’s Family Told OP
OP’s family just told OP to give them a heads-up in the future because they might want to change plans if a baby is coming.
OP told them as of right now, they should be treating her and her nephew as a package deal because OP’s SIL has a long road of recovery ahead of her.
OP’s Dad’s Comments
OP’s dad told her “I’m sorry you have to go through this. It isn’t right to raise a baby” at OP’s age because she’s so young. OP is 24. OP’s response was “What the hell is wrong with you all?”
And now everyone acts like OP is out of line and being disrespectful to her family.
God Bless You!
“Not the jerk. You and your husband and his family are wonderful to all step in and help. Your family sounds selfish. Good for you for not being like them and for helping. Bless you.”
A Heads Up Isn’t A Bad Request But Your Family Should’ve Been More Supportive
“I feel like a heads up isn’t a bad request because not every family function is appropriate for a child, let alone a newborn baby to come to. It, at least, gives them wiggle room to accommodate or discuss a change of plans.
Your father’s reaction seems like it’s one-sided. He’s looking at a portion of the big picture. He’s not considering the fact that it’s you and three other adults taking care of the child and it’s giving your SIL the time to heal herself properly. If you don’t feel any burden was placed upon you then I’m not sure why they have an issue. Your family should support your decision to lend a helping hand.”
The Primary Caregiver Is A Package Deal With A Baby
“Not the jerk, and I really can’t fathom all the answers saying you are. You’ve previously communicated to your family that you have taken on the primary care role of this baby.
That means the basic expectation is that he would come places with you. I would never, in a million years, invite a family member with a baby or small child to any family event and expect the baby/child to be excluded.
It is a given that the primary caregiver is a package deal with a baby and all events would allow for that.
The basic assumption is that a baby comes unless the host explicitly communicates that no children are allowed. That’s on the host, not on you. They are definitely being the jerks to act like he doesn’t count as a family because he’s not related to them by blood.”
You Are To Be Commended For Your Generosity
“They should be applauding your efforts to help your SIL instead of taking it as an inconvenience to themselves. You are to be commended for your generosity.”
Think About It Like This
“No jerks here. Just let them know ahead of time. And your dad is saying he feels bad for how much you have to deal with now. He’s expressing sorrow for your situation.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.