Marriage is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and a deep understanding of your partner’s character and compatibility. However, in the event that you find yourself questioning your marital choice, there are several signs that may indicate you’ve married the wrong person.
A user asked the forum, “When did you realize you married the wrong person?”. Let’s have a look at the top answers.
SPENDING ON UNNECESSARY THINGS
“On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up and so I told her no more; she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars), and I told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed.
On the Wedding day, I’m standing with my groomsman, and the ice cream truck comes, I knew right then, sadly.”
GETTING ANGRY
“It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public.
I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how I could ruin his vacation like this.
Then we walked to the beach nearby, and he went swimming with his two friends, who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry.”
MAKING HONEYMOON A RESEARCH TRIP
“Got married and went on a honeymoon in China. We were both Ph.D. students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon so we go to China to celebrate, and she wants to do some light pre-dissertation research while there for a month or two. I agreed, ok fine.
It turns out I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin, and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (I also had n0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped.
I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost every day. We were sharing a laptop while on the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school).
I opened the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip – our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden.
She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email.”
YELLING ABOUT NOT DOING THE DISHES
“Engaged, not quite married yet. When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son after having emergency surgery for nearly bleeding to death after a miscarriage, and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said, “Why aren’t the dishes done?”
Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there two weeks later.”
GETTING DRUNK ON THE WEDDING DAY
“On my wedding day, we were getting married at her parent’s house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me.
I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I found her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home.
Needless to say, our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. Five years later, she went into in-patient treatment, and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn’t love me and wanted a divorce.”
PARTYING WITH FRIENDS WHEN SHE IS IN SURGERY
“When I lost twins, and he dropped me off at the hospital to get an operation to have my babies removed. He dropped me off at the hospital bleeding and went to a party with his friends.”
HITTING
“The second he decided to hit me. We were married for less than a year and had no kids, thankfully. Took two months, and we were divorced.”
DRINKING WITH FRIENDS
“When I came home from the ER after being diagnosed with a severe lung disorder, she immediately left me with the kids so she could go out drinking with friends.
Her exact words were, “I need you to make them dinner; I’m running late to meet up with everyone.”
NOT HELPING IN EMERGENCY SITUATION
“When she was getting ready to go to the pub, I called her to say the car had broken down, and I was stuck 7 miles from home. She said she couldn’t help. We had two cars. We split two months later.”
NOT TAKING CARE OF KIDS
“After the kid was born. Total shift. Turns out only I wanted to be a parent.”
NOT SUPPORTING
“I waited on her hand and foot. Every night, brought her a tea. Checked every room to make sure there were no intruders, went to the store for her if she wanted a snack, etc.
One day I was really sick with the flu and asked if she’d get me a Gatorade from the store. She was shocked that I asked and said, “Absolutely not.”
Then I thought about it and realized that she had never complimented me, supported me, nurtured me, consoled me, or shown any level of emotional care for me. I knew at that moment that she never would.
All she did was complain that I didn’t do enough for her. It took me a while, but I realized I was in a toxic relationship. The worst part is I tried to make it work, still, after all that, and it was her that pushed me away because she wanted to move to Portland, but it was also because I didn’t make enough money at the time.”
NOT TAKING CARE OF A DOG
“I came home from a long day of work to find burn marks all over the carpet and linoleum. My then-husband had spent the entire day playing games on his PC. While doing so, he had been ignoring our puppy, who had managed to somehow get ahold of a phone battery, bite through it, and cause a small fire.
Thankfully, the dog wasn’t injured. This event, on top of finding out shortly before he had been lying about going to community college for almost a year, was the turning point where my feelings died.”
INCOMPETENCE
“Thankfully, not married but living together. When he called me incompetent for taking literally less than 15 seconds to turn off subtitles on Netflix.
At that moment, I realized that I had been living in fear and pain for so many years but that the things he was willing to put me down and call me names over were becoming smaller and smaller, and I was already walking on eggshells, I couldn’t take any more.”
NOT APOLOGIZING
“Not married, but in an LTR at the time. She heard a doorbell and asked me to get it. I never heard it, and no one was there when I answered. She said, “I’m sorry, it was the tv.”
After more than two years, I realized that was the first time she ever apologized about anything. That answered all my questions about why the relationship was struggling. I broke up soon after.”
NOT MENTIONING IN THE WEDDING SPEECH
“When he didn’t mention me in his speech at our wedding. He thanked everyone else, commented on the bridesmaids, and talked about our daughters. I may as well not have even been there.
The first night of our honeymoon, I got horrendously sick, and he left me alone in our room to go watch something on the big screen on the beach. So much for sickness and health!”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.