Going out to eat with friends can be a fun and enjoyable experience. However, things can quickly go sour if one of your friends refuses to split the bill. This can be a frustrating and awkward situation, and it can be difficult to know how to handle it.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for refusing to split half of the check for dinner with my best friend like usual?”. Read the complete story to know more.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster, OP ( 25F)and her best friend, Vanessa (24F), have been friends since the 2nd grade.
They have been supportive of each other’s successes and accomplishments, and they are always there when one of them needs the other.
WHAT IS THEIR AGREEMENT?
They also always split the check when they go out for dinner or brunch or anything like that.
OP says that they have agreed to do that for a long time, plus it saves time and doesn’t complicate things for them and the servers, and it doesn’t matter how much one of them ordered.
She also says that her friend was the one who suggested it, and OP was like, “Okay, sure.”
WHAT DID OP SAY?
OP says that she was not really a big eater, so whenever they would go out, she would only order about 15-35% of the entire price for both.
Vanessa, on the other hand, always has a huge appetite and would order 65-85%.
OP also says that the percentages depend on the occasion, appetites, and the price of the food.
THE BIG DAY
It turns out that recently, Vanessa got a huge promotion at her job, for which she has been working hard, and she wanted to celebrate, so she suggested that they go out to this fine dining restaurant nearby, and OP agreed because she deserved it.
WHAT DID OP’S SISTER SAY?
OP added that a few weeks prior, her older sister Bianca told her how ridiculous it was that she was splitting the check by paying half of it when she would only order food that amounted to only a quarter of the check.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
So before Vanessa and she ordered their food, she told her that she wanted to only pay for the food that she would order.
Her friend said, “Okay.” When her friend saw that she was actually paying for her own food, she was like, “Wait, you were being serious before?”.
WHAT WAS HER FRIEND’S REACTION?
OP said that she was being serious, and she said, “Oh, I wouldn’t have ordered so much if I knew you were being serious.”
OP says that the total bill was around $560, and she only ordered around $145 worth of food.
WHAT WAS HER FRIEND THINKING?
She asked her friend why wouldn’t she think she was being serious, and she said that it was because they had been splitting the check in half for so long that she literally thought that she was joking.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP told her friend that she was just sick and tired of paying half when she only ordered a small percentage. Like, she was paying at least $50-$100 more than she should every time.
So her friend became a bit mad and said, “And you just decided to be a jerk and pull this stunt on the day when I got promoted?? Fine then, I will pay for my food.”
HOW DID HER FRIEND BEHAVE?
She says that her friend just exited right after without even waiting for her, which she thinks was not cool because she had picked her up at her place and driven them there, so she had to call an Uber and pay $36 for the ride home.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
The next morning, OP’s phone is full of messages from her other friends saying that she was a jerk for demanding this on the day of her big promotion and for being a cheapskate.
OP says that she just doesn’t want to overpay so much. It’s fine if it’s $10-$20 more than what she ordered, but over $50?? That amount can go towards necessities and bills.
OP’S UPDATE ABOUT THEIR EARNINGS
She added that she earns about 90k/year, minus or plus, because she has several jobs, which include dog training, for which she charges $80-$100/hour. But her friend Vanessa earned a little bit more with one stable job, and since her promotion, she now earns six figures.
SHE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU
“Oh, I wouldn’t have ordered so much if I knew you were being serious.”
Everything up to that point could have been an innocent mistake, but that comment shows she’s been taking advantage of you.
SHE WAS DOING IT INTENTIONALLY
“The fact that she flat out said that she would have ordered less if she knew you weren’t subsidizing her meal? She’s been doing this, on purpose, for a long time. She knew full well what she was doing and did it without guilt or second thought.
You flat-out told her that you weren’t going to subsidize her anymore, and she just assumed you would keep doing it because she’s so used to taking advantage of you that she didn’t even consider that you’d stop it.
You mentioned she earns more, and you don’t understand why she would do this. I earn more than my friends, and I often go way over the top when we go out to eat and you know what happens? I pay more than my share to ensure no one has to pay for me. She doesn’t sound like a friend; she sounds like a user.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.