The loss of a loved one leaves a lasting wound on our hearts, but losing a mother suddenly can be especially devastating. A user took the platform to ask Am I wrong for refusing to share a single piece of my mom’s art?
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) is a 25-year-old female. OP’s parents got married straight out of high school. But they split away when OP was just three years old.
OP’s parents stayed close friends till the day OP’s mother died. OP’s dad married Ana when she was 7. Ana had a daughter named Eve. OP’s dad and Ana also gave birth to their son Jake.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
When Jake was a toddler, he was sick. So, OP’s dad and Ana spent the most time in the hospital.
Due to this, OP spent the most time at her mom’s place. And the OP’s mother was happy to accommodate Eve as Eve’s father works weird hours. OP’s mother loved hanging with kids and was a talented and passionate artist. OP’s mother was also passionate about fostering a love for arts in OP and Eve.
It turns out that Eve is more talented than OP and shares the bond with OP’s mother over their love for painting.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Unfortunately, OP’s mother passed away this January. As OP was so close to her mother, she was devastated by her sudden death.
OP still couldn’t accept that her mother was gone forever. And she misses her mom so much. In late April, OP finally gathered the spirit to organize her mom’s things.
WHAT DID EVE ASK
OP mentioned that she was going to organize her mom’s things. After knowing this, Eve approached OP and asked if she would look at OP’s mom’s painting and take a few as keepsakes as she looked after OP’s mother as an inspiration.
WHAT DID OP DO
But OP refused as she was unwilling to give her mom’s painting.
OP was willing to give her jewelry, clothes, furniture, and almost anything but not paintings, as OP considered her mom’s paintings and journals to be her mom’s closest things.
OP considers that her mom left her soul in that stuff and is unwilling to let anything go.
HOW DID EVE REACT
Eve got upset and said she didn’t think she was asking much. Eve also said that OP’s mother is an important person in her life, and they have a strong relationship. In addition, Eve said that OP’s mother could have left something for her if she had decided.
Still, OP refused to give anything to Eve. Eve went to her mother and complained about OP for her behavior.
Now, OP is facing troubles in her family, and they argue whenever they meet.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
OP’s father understands her but still thinks that OP could give one or two paintings to Eve. OP feels she could change her mind in a couple of years, but the feeling is so fresh to change her mind now.
OP feels that Ana and her mother are pushing hard on this and are passively aggressive toward OP. She also started feeling completely different and bad about them even though she was close to them earlier.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH
She admits that Eve wasn’t a stranger to OP’S mom, but that was not enough for her. OP feels that her grief is much bigger and that asking her such stuff immediately after her mom’s death is insensitive.
OP was also upset that Eve sent her living mother after her for OP’s dead mom’s stuff. OP’s boyfriend also thinks she might give one or two, but OP thinks she needs to stand up for her feelings.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE
“The giving of gifts is an act of generosity. If you aren’t feeling it, you should not give up. Your choice, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels.”
SHE WAS JUST A BABYSITTER
“She was not a co-parent but a babysitter, be for real. And in no way would this girl be anywhere near as special as OP to her own mother; jeez, get a grip on reality.”
TAKE YOUR TIME
“I don’t think this is about the paintings as much as this is about your grieving. Ask for time to grieve and process.
Use that time to figure out what your mom wants to do. Ask yourself if it’s fair to hold on to all of the pieces of your mom or whether she’d want you to share with those she was closest to.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.