A user asked, Am I wrong for making my son quit his part-time job to go on our family vacation?

Backstory

Busy woman trying to work while babysitting two kids
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The Original Poster (OP) and her husband have three children, a 16-year-old son and two daughters, 13 and ten. Their son got a part-time job as a lifeguard at a pool back in March. They live in South Florida, so the pools are always open.

 

It Was A Good Job

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It was an excellent job for him; he liked it and was happy to have the money. The issue was his boss was a jerk about giving him time off.
 

What Do You Need To Know

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Their family takes a yearly vacation to this little beach house they rent for a year; we’ve done this since the year OP was pregnant with her son.

Of course, the kids all love it and look forward to it.

 

OP’s Son Told His Boss

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Well, OP’s son told his boss about the week he signed up, but he denied it because it was only six weeks after he started there.

They made it clear he was still going, it’s just a part-time job, and there are a million of those. He protested, but they made him go, and his boss fired him.

He was furious the entire time; he refused to do any family stuff or listen to us, so he was grounded when he returned.

 

What OP Wants To Tell

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OP says, “It’s not that we don’t trust him to stay home alone. We don’t want him to prioritize work over family, especially some weekend jobs.

He found a job at another pool two weeks later, so it’s not like this impacted him in any way, but he still holds a grudge about it.

 

He Claims We Didn’t Respect His Choices

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He claims we didn’t respect his choices, and he’s right; we don’t respect him trying to choose his job over family time, though we don’t hold it against him since he’s just a teen.”

OP wants to know if she is a jerk. Here is what others have to say:

 

You Forced Him

angry teen boy
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“You are a jerk. You forced him to go on vacation, causing his job and income. Then you grounded him for being upset. Unless you offered to make up his income, then I don’t see how you were being fair.

Did the kids love it, or do you?”

 

Misleading

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“You are a jerk for what you did and for the misleading title. You didn’t make him quit his job; you made him get fired. Huge difference.”

 

Tyrannical

angry teen
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“OP put in the unedited post that they trust their son to stay home alone and only wanted to teach him a lesson.

That reasoning should be considered, not what you would do with your child or your parents would have done with you.

People are saying YTA because OP didn’t respect their child’s reasonable right to autonomy in this situation. OP insisted that this was fun family time! And then grounded their son for not having the proper amount of fun.

It’s an authoritarian response for something that should be lighthearted.”

 

You Should Have Talked

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“I don’t get any of these comments at all, either. If I planned a vacation for my family and my 16-year-old son’s part-time job wouldn’t let him take off, I would have a significant problem with that company.

I would go down and talk to his manager/owner. I’m not going to leave my 16-year-old behind on a family vacation bc he has to work.

Like what the hell, I won’t let some manager power trip on my 16-year-old. Now OP might not have gone about this correctly since the son got fired but NTA for wanting everyone to come on vacation.”

 

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